Ramble On.

Skeeball is mine!

2010-03-23T00:17:00.003-04:00

I now own my very own 10 foot authentic SkeeBall Alley machine, seemingly straight from the boardwalk. Previously considered an almost unattainable goal, I got it on the cheap via a serendipitous craigslist search. It currently lives a friend's house until I actually have a place to put it. I will now endeavor to beat my highscore of 890 points over the course of a single quarter (2 games, 440 in the pay game and 450 in the free bonus game).

Glorious.

A few years later...

2010-03-15T17:45:00.003-04:00

I was perusing the internet just now and found myself here again. Seems like I haven't been here for 3 years. Damn. I have been wandering around on the other side of the internet for awhile now. Well, just as I mentioned 3 years ago, this blog is totally useful. I totally forget most of my life. I just read entries like they are the life of someone else and get a kick every time out of knowing it was me. Kind of strange, really. Like that milk thing a few posts down... I barely remember what I was talking about except that I vaguely recall it was hilarious. It probably would have been lost forever otherwise. And apparently I won a $12 scratch off? Awesome. Yes, I get amazed by the same simple things over and over again. Kind of like Memento.

So lets see, whats happening. Well, been working for the man for awhile now. Girlfriend Erica now exists (and has for awhile..hi Erica!). Got a 2006 nissan altima & dnx9140 after my car died in the middle of the road. So many things have happened though too much to write, traveled over the world.

I will now leave cryptic notes for myself so skip this paragraph if you must. If you have any questions about the following, do not bother asking, except in person. (remember crazy sea creatures and dog/cat/rat man in San Francisco, Vegas 2x horse races & proton pack at defcon, remember St. Louis sucks but has a nice brewery & large horses, remember in Key West you para-sailed, remember Vancouver had a cool cansecwest conference, Buffalo a few times, Tampa for a month, remember the sets for Lost in Hawaii, Boston, remember Abba & Black flags in Bahrain (Manama), chocolate & waffles & red light in Belgium (Brussels), louvrian desert & shady "bushes" & bridge gatherings in Paris, brothels in Frankfurt (nothing dirty), kangaroos in Australia (Canberra) , castles & using a women's bathroom in Heidelberg).

Formed a few companies on the side (4207 Software with my pal Chris, Potatofish with my pal Alex). Released an iPhone app so far with Potatofish (Am I Safe?). Worked on the in limbo River Rendering System (and River Lite) for 4207 Software (which actually really helped out Chris, so I consider that a success) and the in limbo MealCal for Potatofish (which was just fun doing). Also doing some new extremely interesting things that I won't mention here (one involving healthcare, one involving parking lots, one involving sweepstakes and one involving product reviews). Who knows how these will turn out but its always fun trying.

And, no past self, I never did find that golden penny...what about you future self, did you check your old wallet?

Things That Don't Exist On The Internet.

2007-01-15T11:56:00.000-05:00

The internet is known for having almost everything you wanted and never wanted to see. Every now and then I come across something that does not exist on the internet. Usually this is because what I am searching for is too obscure. Sometimes though, there is no good reason, which is very strange to me.

Anyway, if someone can find a clip of the Mike Myers Lord of the Dance Parody he did on the 1997 MTV Movie Awards that would be super. It is hillarious and don't just take my word for it...take the bastion of credibility that is VH1 as it was voted number 42 out of the 100 moments that rocked tv.

New...post?

2007-01-08T17:30:00.000-05:00

What? What is going on here? I seem to be posting something (not really TO anyone since no one reads this anymore)....Yep. I am definitely posting something...

So what has happened in the past 10 months since my last post? Many things. Now, of course I don't remember much (as I didn't post about it) but I left a bunch of notes in my brain telling me things happened. I don't leave very specific brain notes and I don't even feel like reading many of them. From what I can foggily remember and feel like mentioning, I made a cool senior design project (mDiet rules #1), graduated college, failed in going to europe (no one would go with me), got older by a year, obtained a large free bar for the old house, slacked around for a few months happily, lived on South Street, got a job, moved to Baltimore, dressed up as Hannibal from the A-Team for halloween, got into Hopkins grad school, obtained a sweet Garmin Nuvi GPS for christmas (the best object I own by far; I almost feel normal now in terms of directions), went to NYC for New Years, ate nachoes at Qdoba yesterday, and killed a bum.

Except for that last thing (which is only real in a pseudo-theory), the year was good and I feel somewhat different (read: older, wiser and lamer) than I did a year ago. Yes, as you may be asking, there are a few important/funny things I did not mention but hey, I don't want the internet knowing absolutely everything about me and I like to leave cryptic notes for myself in the future....(hello future self, did you ever find that golden penny you had?).

On another note, this blog does serve its' purpose. This new years I had wondered what I did the previous year and without this blog I would have never remembered. According to this post, I did nothing but win a 12$ scratch off. Good for me.

So, anyway, I had not planned on posting to this blog anymore but plans are for suckers. Maybe I will post sporadically now.

Ramble On.

2006-05-22T02:10:00.000-04:00

Myspace Blows.

2006-03-06T02:17:00.000-05:00

I was looking at some myspace profiles recently and was amazed at how horrible the design of the pages were. It reminds me of the days when the internet was just becomming popular and people were trying to make "homepages", and failing miserably. Take a look at this and tell me it doesn't make your mind numb. At least its good to see many people, who otherwise wouldn't really know what a computer was, trying to understand web technology. That might sound a little snobby but fuck that and you for thinking it. And that might sound a little angry but yeah, I think it was.

Why does it seem no one else notices how unreadable some of the pages are? Anyway, as for myspace itself, I refuse to use it for as long as I can. As with thefacebook.com, I find it creepy. At least with thefacebook, only college people can find me. I guess the fact that I'm thinking about it means I will soon be somewhere on myspace. Damnit. Well I will just have to make sure to use all fake info.

On an unrelated note, I just realized I took my sheets for my bed off to wash them, forgot about it, and now they are sitting downstairs next to the washing machine, still dirty. Crap.

On another unrelated note, who knew that when you pour a gallon of milk on someone it gets all crusty in your hair? I sure didn't. Good to know. Just for the sake of my memory, I shall explain further. We were playing some sort of card game with the eventual purpose of pouring milk on Mindy (we lost the cap to the milk and figured it had to be put to some good use). It was decided the only way she would let that happen was to risk having milk poured on ourselves as well. So a single card was handed out and the low card got the milk. I think Mindy actually left the game and Kristen unknowingly took her place and her card. Before she completely understood what was going on, she had the lowest card. The milk soon commenced.

Blogin.

2006-02-27T19:49:00.000-05:00

For whatever reason, I havn't been in the mood to post much. Some interesting things from February (skip to the very bottom for just something exciting (and possibly fraudulent):

1) Tried to smoke some from a cigarette. I think I failed if thats possible.
2) Was hit by a drunk driver while in a cab with some friends late one night. No real damage to the cab but the whole thing was entertaining. The guy was reeeally drunk. I took pictures and video on my cellphone but nothing too exciting.
3) Had a few house parties in the good ol' house and realized the best parties seem to be ones with only liquor, girls, and gay men. The gay men bring the girls and provide no competition. Also, I do not remember much from said house parties. The next party I am determined to be somewhat sober so I can form some coherant memories.
4) Rediscovered my love (and addiction) for fruit snacks.
5) Slept with your mom.
6) Had fun at the filmings of new SweatyRobot videos.
7) Went to Delaware to buy cheap bountiful liquor, including Everclear(not avaliable in PA) to make jungle juice. It's a good idea.
8) Saw Brokeback Mountain (actually at the end of January). It was definately one of the best movies I have seen in a long time.
9) Saw The Machinist starring Christian Bale (batman). Amazing how freaky thin he was for that movie.
10) Did many nerdy things.
11) Possibly saw Kirsten Dunst at a Cosi on UPenn's campus.
12) By habit, told a bum I had no change while actually playing with a bunch of useless change in my hands. Felt pretty dumb there.

And then, luckily, I dodged the bullet and spinning roundhoused the kidnapper, killing him instantly. I then grabbed the missing baby and returned him to his parents, who rewarded me with a plane ticket home to America.

Question.

2006-02-06T18:17:00.000-05:00

Joanne solved the mystery and it was not from a movie. The song appeared in the television show, Veronica Mars. If she didn't get that, I don't think anyone would have solved the problem since I was thinking it was a movie. I hate having unsolved trivia like that bothering me.

------------
What movie had a sequence where the middle section of the song "Ventura Highway" by America was playing? 5 points to whoever figures it out. I think it was a somewhat serious movie like boogie nights or something with drugs....Oh, it might have been a motage possibly.

Listen Here (#2 song, the part that I remember is the end of the sample)

I Know Karate, Voodoo Too.

2006-02-06T17:07:00.000-05:00

Havn't been doing much of the ol' postin' lately. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe not. In any case, let's see if I can describe some current happenings...well, one thing, I'm currently sick for the first time in at least a year. Didn't stop me from going to Baltimore last weekend to visit old roommate Brian and anyone else I came across. Things from this weekend:

1) Drank large quantities of beer at a fish market. Also stole birthday cake at fish market.

I practically had to chug both of these since everyone left the fish market after we arrived (coincidence).

2) While talking to a group of girls later that eve I began introducing Brian but was interrupted by one of the girls who already knew everything about him. She was best friends with many people Brian knew from college and actually had been to his current house at one time. Brian did not recognize her. Hah, awkward.
3) Realized the Japanese people are a really weird people while playing the addictive game "We Love Katamari."
4) Had one of the more disgusting dinners ever by ordering an "Onion Loaf". I enjoy trying new things and had never heard of such a thing. Supposedly it was good so I ordered it. This is what I got:

Holy greasy jesus!

It was deep fried onions deep fried together into a solid block of friedness, with dipping sauce. I picked it apart and ate some of it. Similar to a blooming onion from the outback restaurant. Luckily for me, the waitress noticed my discontent and didn't charge me for it. The bad part about free crappy food? Nothing.

Other events not related to this weekend that I have just not posted about yet:
1) Drunkenly sang "I'm gonna be (500 miles)" by the Proclaimers karaoke style at some bar and LOST the 4 minutes long video of it taken on my phone. Very unfortunate.
2) Hungover the next morn, I went to the Philadelphia Zoo for my mom's brithday where I:
a) Failed at grabbing a peacock but did manage to get a large blue bird in a headlock.
(touched a large blue bird)
b) Punched a two toed sloth.
(touched a two toed sloth)
c) High fived a spider monkey.
(high fived a spider monkey)

Those peacocks are wiley little things.

Films.

2006-01-28T20:03:00.000-05:00

Friends from http://www.sweatyrobot.com/ have made two hillarious short films, the first being Future Music 2012, already posted below. The second film, Happy Birthday Harris Malden is, in my opinion, even more funny. Both have been submitted to an Independant Film Channel contest at http://medialab.ifc.com

Go to the IFC webpage, register, then watch and vote highly for those two films (or lowly for every other film i guess). I would like to see them win and get their stuff on television. Visit Sweaty Robot also, new videos are constantly being made.

Happy Birthday Harris Malden

Future Music 2012

Oh, see if you can spot me in the Harris Malden video...I'll give you a hint; I am right behind him drinking a beer at the mass party scenes. That's not really a hint as much exact directions but whatever.

Apparently, I'm a Genius.

2006-01-28T16:50:00.000-05:00

"An interesting scientifically test shows that smarter people actually remember less details. They tend to focus on what's essential."

So says this study

I can barely remember what I did yesterday.

Almost Arrested Story.

2006-01-17T23:49:00.000-05:00

All right. So it all started when I went to Millersville University to visit my friend, Doug. I traveled there with some other friends, Ryan and Sara. It was a Saturday night around 2am and I was pretty drunk playing some card games at Doug's friend's house. This house was in an appartment type complex which I think was somehow affiliated with the university. Ryan and Sara were outside smoking when Ryan comes back in and says he will give $20 to anyone who can ride a certain bike around the sidewalk. So I, of course wanting $20, accept this offer and go outside to find out whats going on.

This really has nothing to do with the story, it was at the house and just kind of impressive.

Of course, even drunk, I know Ryan would not readily hand over $20 and sure enough, I look at the bike I have to ride and it has an extremely bent front wheel. In fact, I think the wheel was actually broken at this time. I try anyway and, unable to even push the bike forward with the bent wheel, I lay the bike down start carefully stomping on the wheel trying to bend it back into place. While jumping up and down on the wheel with full drunken intent of fixing it, the wheel magically pops into place. Precision craftmanship. Surpised at my success I stop jumping and pick the bike up. Ryan and the rest of the laughing people watching are also surprised by this miraculously straightened wheel.

I then began to ride the bike again with great success, to the shock of all. The great success soon fails when I try the first turn. The frame of the wheel breaks again and bends even more than before. I am left again with a broken bike. Unfortunately, this time, even my precision jumping up and down method does not fix it and I decide to stop. This is about when I wonder who's bike this was in the first place. No one knows and I leave the bike. Doug recommends instead of leaving the bike I throw the bike into a nearby "marsh". This sounds like a good idea to me, for some reason, and I grab the bike and head in the direction of the "marsh". Sara follows to keep me company. The "marsh" turned out to just be a small grassy valley separating the appartment complex which had houses curved around it like the letter "C". Deciding this was a dumb place to leave a bike I look around for a more suitable place to leave it. I spot some drainage pipes on the other side of the field. My thought process was to stuff the bike into the pipes. I know what your thinking....genius.

Upon closer inspection of the pipes I see that they are too small to fit the bike. Still determined, I walk up the hill and leave the little grassy area. We are now near the houses adjacent to Doug's friend's house. I spot a large bush at the top of the hill next to someones house and figure the bike would look perfect placed right on top of this bush. I place the bike on top of this bush with the help of Sara, admire my completion of the task and start walking away; a job well done.

While walking away towards the parking lot, I see three cop cars about 50 feet away. Three cops were walking towards Sara and I with flashlights blazing.

Rookie 1: Where is the bike? Where is the bike?
Me (looking confused): What? Whats going on?
Rookie 1: Where is the bike. We saw you had a bike. We are going to go look for it and if we find it....
Me: Woh, what is going on?
Rookie 2 (wandering around searching): OK. I found the bike. It was on top of the bush.
Me: Oh, yeah that's my friends bike...
Sara: Check the VIN! Check the VIN! It's our friend's bike!
Sergent: OK, I'm placing you both under arrest for disorderly conduct.
Me: wuh oh. What? That seems a little ridiculous.
Sara: Check the VIN!
Me (to sara): I don't think bikes have VINs.
Rookie 1: Turn around and put your hands behind your back.
Me (after patting us down and putting the cuff one one wrist and starting the second): Woh, oww, not so tight. Not so tight.
Me (internally, with a big goofy smile on my face): Wow, this is pretty awesome.

At the sound of me asking the guy to not put the cuffs on so tight, my friends back across the field at the house realize what is going on. We tell the cops our friends over yonder will tell them what is going on. Rookie 2 goes over to talk to my friends while Sara and I get placed in the back of separate cop cars. I get placed in Rookie 1's car and he leaves the door open while he fiddles with papers. We continue to say the bike is a friend of ours and we are just playing a joke on him.

So I am now in the cop car, the door was left open and the cop was sitting in the front seat doing something. I manage to pull my hand out of the loose cuff and, surprised that I could, crazy ideas start going through my drunken head.

Me (internally): I already kind of escaped, why not just run now...
Me (internally): Hmm, oh yeah, your an idiot.

Luckily, I quicky realized how dumb that was and just sat there. The door was closed and the cop sat in the front seat. The guy in my car was a rookie with apparantly no authority. The sergent was the guy calling the shots. I began telling the cop, with both my hands up on the glass separator that I accept whatever was going on but I am going to basically argue with him about how this was bullshit. He was surprised I was out of the cuffs. I told him if he didnt want to deal with me I would just shut up and be quiet but he didnt say anything. So, I berrated him for the next half hour or so with some good drunken logic.

While all this is going on my friends somehow convinced the cops that it was their bike and a "fat kid rode it into the sidewalk which bent the wheel." They also learn that the bush I placed the bike on belonged to an ex-cop. Eventually the cops let us out, uncuffed us, and the Sergent gave us citations for "millersville noise control ordinance violations". The exact crime was, "shouting and yelling as to be heard audibly across property lines to cause a noise disturbance." Looking at the charge, I laughed at how bullshit it was since we were not "yelling or shouting" at all. It did not seem like a good time to argue so we took the little yellow slips, the cops gave us "our" bike back, and we went on our way.

Turned out no one even called the cops. They were apparantly just patrolling. The citation we recieved had to be phoned into the Judge by us over the next few days so a fine could be given. I called the judge a few days later and the secretary said that even if we didn't get charged anything for the fine, there is a $50 charge if we plead guilty. When I finally talked to the judge he quickly gave us a $100 fine each for a grand total of $150 each.

I would, at this point, like to call shenanigans on this whole thing and plead not guilty but that will require me to set a hearing date and drive out there again, probably find a lawyer or something, and prove I was not "yelling or shouting." I came up with a plan to actually ask the ex-cop who owned the bush if any noises were heard. I also wanted to call the Rookie 1 I was talking to and ask him if we were yelling or shouting. Actually going through with this plan seems almost like a waste of time as I'm thinking cops probably like to stick together. So, in conculsion, the damn cop tried to pin anything they could on us. He realized we were not the masterful criminals we seemed but still wanted to screw us. Damn bitter cops. Well, actually just the old crotchity Sergent; the rookies weren't bad. I guess the cops did give us a crappy bike. Anyone want to buy it? Has a broken wheel.

Sara and I walking home with our new bike.

Lacking.

2006-01-17T00:02:00.000-05:00

I hate it when I just don't do things I should. It's not exactly lazyness when this happens but close. For example, I really need to call someone....and I just don't. After I don't make the call I am often surprised I could let that happen. As a matter of fact I will make my new years resolution to not do this.

The first thing I will do now in accordance with my new years resolution is post the arrest story below.

Almost Arrested.

2006-01-08T22:27:00.000-05:00

An interesting situation occured late Saturday night when I was almost arrested. By "almost", I mean I was already handcuffed and sitting in the back of a cop car. A small scrape on my wrist is what remains from when I managed to slip off the cuffs. The full story will be told tomorrow but don't get too excited; there was no movie style escape.

Wasting Days.

2006-01-04T02:59:00.000-05:00

The past few days have been complete wastes. Today was the worst. It is not often you can actually pinpoint exactly what you were doing and how long it took for the entire day. It all started (and ended) with a horribly addictive game called Civilization 4. I woke up at 12, decided to install the game and go downstairs to make myself some breakfast. Instead of going downstairs after installing the game I began to play it a little. 6 hours later I stumble downstairs starving. It is 7pm and the sun has already gone down. I decide to watch two episodes of OZ on HBO with my roomate and continue to watch two episodes of scrubs until 10pm. While watching I ate my food of the day. After scrubs was over I headed back upstairs and continued my game for another 4 hours. I finally finish the game after 10 hours of playtime. The day was over, it was 2am and I had accomplished nothing except beat the crap out of the civilized world pretending to be the Aztecs. That was my entire day. I didn't even leave my room until 7pm. I had no idea the game took that long to play. A game with the combination of taking a lot of time and being addictive is a bad combination.

New Years.

2006-01-02T01:29:00.000-05:00

Wow. 2006. This year's celebration was pretty mundane. A party fell through at my house at the last moments so my roomates and a few others just drank ourselves stupid and hung out. The highlight of the night was when I drunkenly won $12 from a dollar scratch off lottery ticket. Happy new year to everyone. 2006 is my year. I can feel it.

Also, wasn't it really sad and pathetic watching Dick Clark with his post stroke mumbling? The answer is yes.

Hmm, what to do.

2005-12-29T16:28:00.000-05:00

So I am sitting here, bored, wondering what to do, noticing that I have not posted in a little while and realizing I have very little to post about. I hate being so bored that the idea of something interesting seems impossible. If I could be doing absolutely anything feasible of my choice right now I think it would still take awhile for me to think of something. Hmm, let us try, you and me. Um, ok... I really would like to................road trip. Yeah I think I could really go for a drive to somewhere unknown. Do some exploring. I would need someone else to come with as I don't have enough motivation to start such a trip for just myself. Ok, just so you didn't waste your time reading this post go here. Play the heaven game.

Future Music.

2005-12-23T12:08:00.000-05:00

Wow. Looks like some of my friends got bored and decided to make a short film..and put it on the internet. Turned out pretty hillarious. Watch it here. So now that makes two people who have licked my guitar.

Been Awhile.

2005-12-21T13:04:00.000-05:00

Happy Holidays. I have been cheating on this blog with another I write on, http://theordinarystory.blogspot.com, if you want to hear some rants about elevators and Jerry Springer. The term is over now and I have a longer that normal winter break. Around 3 weeks. I have no idea what I will do over that time but whatever.

In other news I have decided against buying a mp3 player. Instead I will transform my cellphone into an mp3 player. I have a nokia 6620 which uses MMC flash memory and the innate ability to play mp3. To transform the phone I bought a stereo hands-free headset thinger, a 2gb MMC card, and a USB flashdrive to load the MMC cards faster (bluetooth works but is really slow for big files). In all, not only is it cheaper (2gb for about $145) but I would be carrying around my cellphone all the time anyway so the size of the new mp3 player is technically nothing. As a bonus, I get a USB flashdrive to use with the other memory cards I have. Eventually when I get a new phone, the 2gb memory card will simply be a fulltime USB flashdrive so nothing will be wasted. Oh, the Adata 2gb MMC card does in fact work on Nokia 6620 phones, a fact that is not really on the internet.

A-Data 2gb MMC ($120)

Crucial SD/MMC Card Reader ($10)

Nokia HDS3 Stereo Headset ($4)

Today.

2005-12-13T22:24:00.000-05:00

Today I bought 26 microwave burritos. There was a sale. That is all.

Happy Annivesary.

2005-12-12T02:14:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe it has been a year.

According to my first posts I said there was only a 50/50 chance I would continue to the next day. Looks like I did, and beyond. For this, my 300th post, I shall recount some of what has happened over the course of the last year.

1) I have slightly improved my ability to curse.
2) I have no fucking idea, read the blog. That's a good reason why it exists.

Oh, as a reminder to me if I ever forget. Much is not recorded so don't forget what you shouldn't.

Won't You Be My Neighbor.

2005-12-12T01:56:00.000-05:00

This is my house. If you would like to bulid a house on my block, Tofu Avenue, click here and do it! Get psychoanalyzed too! I don't really know how they come about that personality test summary but whatever.

Cube.

2005-12-09T21:23:00.000-05:00

MobiBLU 1gb

I kind of really want this. I also don't want it for the following reasons:
1) I will lose it right away. Possibly instantly.
2) I usually must have as much space as possible. Other players have more than 1gb.
3) Don't like how it has a special usb cord. If I wanted to load something on/off I would have to carry that around.

I am one of the last people on earth to fall into the mp3 player craze. I always wanted one but never got down to actually buying anything. That being said, I always want all new gadgets so its nothing special that I wanted one. With the new Ipod nano, video and this thing I am being very tempted.

Damn, 9:30pm on a friday. I need to go somewhere.

Curb My Enthusiasm.

2005-12-07T21:12:00.000-05:00

So today was an interesting day. Started off like any other day; woke up, rolled out of bed, fell asleep on the floor, woke up, took a shower, put on clothes and caught the trolley to class at 10am. For the past few weeks on Wednesdays I left school after that class and went home because there was no reason to go to the next class, Atmospherics II (or weatherman class as I call it). Today was different in that there was an assignment scheduled. I had to make an appearance.

I thought I recalled the teacher saying a few weeks prior that the remaining assignments in the class were forecasts, meaning that I simply have to predict the weather for the next day at noon. These assignments were done in class and were not hard at all. I stroll into class a few minutes late and take a seat. I looked around and noticed that people did NOT have the simple forecast sheets but instead small packets of paper. Looking closer at a friend's packet I realize that there was no forecast today but instead a previously assigned takehome assignment due that day. Damnit.

Now, I was not really worried until I read the assignment sheet that clearly said, "This assignment must be completed to pass the course." My brain instantly goes to work as to how I am going to do this. The assignment consisted of looking at weather data from 6 madeup weather stations over the course of a year. Every month the average temperature and total precipitation was listed as well as the overall yearly average temperature and total precipitation. From the data, the Koeppen Climate Classification had to be determined, justified and the data graphed in a specific way. Luckily for me, the main answer, the classification, was only a three letter code. Most of the work was just the tedious process of graphing and justification. I quickly copied the 6 codes from my friend before he turned his packet in and ran out of the class to make the graphs at a computer lab. My roommate Chuck, also in the class, called to see if he should come to class. I told him the situation and he headed towards the lab to help out.

Working feverishly, I began typing in all the information and started making graphs while Chuck looked up the justifications for the answers I wrote down. When it comes down to it, a lot of work can be done in 45 minutes. At around 12:50, the time class ended, I was stapling the 7 pages of pseudo good work (we bullshitted some). The teacher usually heads from class to his office on the 8th floor of a nearby building before he leaves for the day. My plan was to head to his office and just make some lame excuse that I forgot the assignment at home and had to run there to get it.

Papers in hand, flapping in the wind, I ran to his office but the door was locked. Assuming that he was still packing up in the classroom, I hurried down the 8 stories and into the building where class was held. Upon running to the classroom I see that he is not there either. I deduce that while he was going to his office I was leaving and missed him on the way. So I run out of the class and head down the hall on my way to the office again, hoping to catch him there before he left to go home. While running down the hall outside of the classroom, papers still in hand, I notice a girl laid out in what I thought was a somewhat uncomfortable position on the ground....

Another girl was pacing next to her on a cellphone looking freaked out. As I run close I notice the girl on the ground isn't really moving.

Me (thinking to myself): Hmm, that's odd.... that girl isn't moving.....nope, still not moving....

I stop my full stride but continue moving..I hear the girl on the cellphone talking to campus security in a babbling manner....Ah crap.
Me (walking by pointing to the girl on the ground): Hey..umm, is that girl all right?
Girl on Cellphone: No she is not.
Me: Ah crap.

I look down at my hand to my packet of important papers, then to the girl lying on the ground, then back to the packet of important papers. The theme song to Curb Your Enthusiasm starts playing in my head and I think, "what would Larry David do"?

"Ah crap", I think to myself as I stop and go to the girl on the ground. Next to her outstretched hand there is a bottle of pills. "Ah crap", I think to myself again as I notice she is breathing a little awkwardly. Looking more closely at the bottle of pills I see they are for some sort of pain killer. I move her onto her side to make sure she doesn't choke or anything. Besides that I had no idea what to do so I go to another classroom right nearby and tell the teacher in there someone is unconscious out in the hall. The teacher looks out and recognizes the girl. He says something about how she just had surgery. I have my cellphone out right about to call 911 when the teacher gets out his cellphone and dials.

So I'm standing there, still holding my papers, caught in somewhat of a moral dilemma. All the while the Curb Your Enthusiasm song still playing in my head. I really want to turn in my assignment and I start smiling to myself because of the ridiculousness of the situation. Everyone there looks at me with a weird awkwardness as I force the smile from my face. Campus security shows up and I slowly back away from the group, taking that as my queue to leave. I figure there is nothing else I can do so I run off back to my original mission of turning in the assignment.

Eventually I end up back at the teacher's office and he was there. Out of breathe I babble about running back and forth and dead girls. He simply grabs the assignment, says "thanks!", and turns around in his chair.

I walk out and head towards the trolley again where I run into a large group of septa workers who gave me a bunch of free ramen noodle soup packets.

The end.

Good thing I didn't have to call 911 because I would have definitely had to stay there. I do hope that girl is all right.

Party.

2005-12-05T02:03:00.000-05:00

So we had a house party on Saturday. Good times. I thought we successfully retained all of our property the next morning when I saw someone brought in the keg and tap but no. It turns out someone stole Cleary's ipod (which was being use for the music). So we are 0/2 for completely successful parties. (There is still a small chance the ipod was drunkenly misplaced somewhere)

The person responsible will hopefully be found and beaten as we know it must be one of the dozen unknown people who came with a friend of Cleary's.

Besides the stolen ipod the party was fun. I woke up the next morning in my bed not remembering how I got there. A lot of the party is a little foggy but based on stories from others it was entertaining. There were a few good stories involving me that I didn't recall. Hearing stories about what I did while inebriated is always very funny. I wish the sober me could actually hang out or watch the drunk me. That would be thoroughly enjoyable.

Two things.

2005-12-02T15:02:00.000-05:00

First off, I registered a domain name of my full name. I don't really know why but now, of all the people with the same name as me, I am number one in the eyes of the internet!

Second, for a project in school I had to make up a fake business. So I picked an actual business I would want to exist. Here is a demonstration website I set up for my company BeerNet.Com (I know the domain name is already taken in real life.) Someone please make my dream a reality. Oh, most of the links don't work on the site and you can only click on coors light.

Happenings.

2005-12-01T01:53:00.000-05:00

Been quite busy the past week with school work. Thanksgiving was somewhat boring. I was an extra in that movie "The Ungodly" yesterday. I will be in the subway with my back to the camera walking past the actors and going upstairs. Not sure if I will actually be in the final version but still interesting. Read more blurbs here and here.

Right, I forgot to actually describe the day when the movie was shooting at the house. Oh well, I need sleep. Party at my house Saturday. You are invited if you are reading this and know where I live or have the means to ask me.

Oh, I also joined a few of my friends in creating another blog. HERE. (name subject to change) It will contain stories and other interesting things. Kind of like this blog except not as specific to me.

Monday.

2005-11-21T20:54:00.000-05:00

Well today was no normal monday. How often is an actual movie filmed using your house? Not like your friends in film school but an actual 40 person crew with real actors...and food catering. More on this later.

Interesting Site.

2005-11-21T00:12:00.000-05:00

I don't normally do this...up till now I guess, but I happened to come across this website from the little random "next blog" button at the top of my page. It is about how to do random things. Good stuff. While I'm in a link posting mood, I would really like to make one of these for myself. Right now. If someone were to somehow make/buy/obtain one of these as a gift (maybe christmas) for me I would be their best friend..possibly forever.

Skeeball.

2005-11-20T23:11:00.000-05:00

Played some skeeball today and got 440 points which earned me a free game where I scored 450 points! I'm awesome. I might have gotten even higher because the 100 point hole was being weird and I wasn't paying attention to my score.

Movie Update.

2005-11-19T14:59:00.000-05:00

Hey remember when I said that guy wanted to use our house in a movie? (read previous post if you don't remember) Well he came by today and we signed some location agreement and are going to be paid $200. They are just using the exterior of our house and the entrance monday morning. The movie is called "the ungodly" and stars that guy wes bentley from american beauty with the video camera. Pretty cool. Our next house party will now be technically sponsered by this movie.

On Monday we shall see what happens.

Oh, speaking of movies, Harry Potter is awesome.

Little Bits of Nothing.

2005-11-17T11:51:00.000-05:00

Today after class I had a long internal debate as to whether or not I should take the trolly home for only an hour or just stay at school until my next class. Taking the trolly home is $1.30 so I was thinking what better things I could buy with such money; like animal crackers or some baseball cards. After awhile I decided just to spend the stupid token and go home. I get in the first trolly to stop, go to put the token in the machine and the driver quickly puts his hand over it. He said the ride was on him. I looked in the trolly and I was the only one there. Now that I write this, it seems kind of creepy but he was just lonely. I was the first person to get on in awhile.

Yesterday a guy knocked on the door and asked if he could use our house (particularly the porch and entrance) in a movie. Some independant psychological thriller. Even before he said we would get componsated I was already thinking it would be cool. He took a bunch of pictures and said he would show them to the director, who would make the final decision. Cool stuff if it works out.

A few days ago I went across the street to a pizza place and I noticed they had a selection of hotsauces for sale. These hotsauces were the "so hot you lose color vision" types of hotsauces. One in particular looked quite nasty; it had a 500,000 Scoville rating and was in a weird looking sealed container. Actually, here it is. I think I might buy it just to provoke a future funny story.

Story for Now.

2005-11-16T04:36:00.000-05:00

Alright, I just heard tonight that one of my friend's roommate made out with Donovan McNabb at a bar downtown after the Chargers game a few weeks ago. HAHA, awesome. I would tell a more detailed story were it not that I, for some reason, decided to try and drink two (2) Steel Reserve 40's tonight. Not recommended; it's hard for one man (besides superman or samuel l. jackson) to harness the power of the "high gravity" content imbued into each horribly deliciously horrible Steel Reserve.

While getting the first 40 I also purchased a slice of cheesecake; so on the walk home I had a 40 in one hand (no bag) and a slice of cheesecake in the other (with a big smile on my face from my purchases, of course). Why is that kind of funny? I don't know but it was.

Oh, yeah, I'm posting this at 4:36am because I kind of passed out on my bed for a few (6) hours. Ah, college, almost over. Oh well. Live it up while you can, right? Hey, that's one of my fake mottos (my other fake motto is "no fat chicks".) Well it's true though. Once college is over a somewhat more serious life has to take over. Although, I hope it is a really slow progression for me into "crochity old man who hates youth".

For those wondering right now about my real motto, it is "never say no to anything" (or "never say no to nothing" when I am feeling really grammatically impaired).

Wow, this is a quite a ramble. I think it actually details thought for thought of how my brain was working.

80's Songs.

2005-11-13T23:52:00.000-05:00

I am a fan of many types of music and today and noticed that my collection of 80's music was somewhat slim (I didn't have that song "You Spin Me Right Round"). To fix this problem I listened to a 6CD Boxset called Best of the 80's. I like a lot of 80's songs so I was expecting this boxset to contain many if not most of my favorites. Damn was I wrong. If this boxset was an actual representation of 80's music, wow, 80's music sucked. Out of the 110ish songs, there were probably less than 10 that I actually tolerated and even then, maybe only 1-3 that I was really looking to get. I know there were a lot of good 80's songs so whoever made this "best" of the 80's should go straight to huey lewis's place and get punched in the face by billy idol (I assume all 80's musicians hang out together in a shack somewhere).

My Body and Me.

2005-11-11T10:20:00.000-05:00

My body and I have a pretty good relationship. I feed and play games with it. Do all sorts of things. We have a good time and we don't keep secrets from eachother. At least thats what I thought.

I found out today that my body has been keeping a weird secret from me. Remeber when I had that rare vomit incident down in baltimore? The prarie fire shot was not really the cause. I realize now that my assessment that the shower was the direct cause of the vomit was right on because it happened again. I got pretty drunk last night at a new bar called the Mill Creek Tavern. Woke up this morning with the lights on, fully dressed and laying in a bunch of papers on my bed. I felt hungover but not too bad. After drinking some water and wandering around some I decided to take a shower. Note that I am still somewhat hungover. When I got in the shower, after a minute or two in the warm water I had that weird vomit feeling and puked in the toilet. Apparantly, taking a shower while hungover is the magic button to make me throw up. Weird. I now have to ammend my puking policy to, "I never puke unless I am taking a shower while hungover."

New Links.

2005-11-09T13:50:00.000-05:00

If you are an astute (vocab word) reader you may notice that there are two new links in the Links section. HillyTheGak and Raventhrawn. They are friends so I link them. Carry on.

Buddy Lee.

2005-11-09T13:31:00.000-05:00

Today I was walking through the quad and I see a large tour bus parked in the middle with a large picture of Buddy Lee on it. Some sort of dungaree tour or something. Anyway, there was small racetrack set up with remote controlled cars in it. I discover that if you can win a race you get free jeans. Being one of the first people there the line was really short so I got my turn and won. Free jeans for me. Yay.

Interesting Conversation.

2005-11-08T01:25:00.000-05:00

Today someone smelled my hair and asked what shampoo I used. Being one of those silly types of human beings or maybe just a compulsive liar, I said, straight faced, "Oh, yeah I make it myself in my bathtub. Works great!" The person responded, somewhat incredulously, with, "really? thats interesting." I assured this person that I did indeed brew my own shampoo in a bathtub with all the proper herbs and spices. Eventually the topic was left for another. What was interesting about this conversation is that I think I may be the first person to make this joke, possibly ever. Next time someone asks you what shampoo you use I welcome you to use my joke. Hmmm, now that I think more about it, I bet a lot of people actually do make their own shampoo. Still funny though.

OK, fine, I actually just wanted to use a form of the word incredulous in a post. But the story did happen...really.

Lamest Post Ever.

2005-11-08T01:07:00.000-05:00

While walking around campus today, my shoelaces somehow became untied for the first time in year and a half. I looked down, puzzled, and said, "hey my fucking shoe laces are untied." No one cared. I then subsequently tied them. The end.

This Weekend.

2005-11-07T00:18:00.000-05:00

So, some highlights from this mostly uneventful weekend:

1)Tried on womans jeans and figured out I am a size 8-10. Bought clothes (not woman jeans though, maybe another time, hah)

2)Went to a Guiness beer "Believer Show" at Dave & Buster's, drank beer and became brainwashed into loving Guiness (although I already loved Guiness).

3)Became involved in a weird incident described below:
Chris, Cleary and I were wandering around flagging down a cab to get home from the Guiness thing. After finally getting a cab to stop, it stopped in the middle of the street to wait for us. The car behind our cab started honking and went slowly around, Chris yelled a curse at the guy before we got in the car. The guy, who was some sort of hispanic guy, dressed in trendy clothes, heard Chris's remark and got enraged. When I say enraged, imagine road rage x 2. He pulled up next to the cab and started yelling. The cabbie, who turned out to be a nice guy and luckily spoke english, slowed down and allowed the guy to continue ahead. The guy continued ahead but stopped at the corner of the street, waited for us to turn and continued to follow.

Finally, the cabbie had had enough and stopped, letting the guy pull up right next to us. Note that I am sitting on the side window closest to this guy. So the dude continues freaking out, demanding that Chris do something in broken english that I couldn't understand. The guy was alone in the car so I found it odd he had the desire to challenge a car full of people unless he had a gun or something. We realized he was also probably a little drunk. Usually, in these type of situations, I pull out my phone and start taking pictures. In this case, though, I feared provokation might be a bad idea. This guy might actually have this gun or something and if anyone was going to be shot, it would have been me as I was the closest person and in the direct line of sight of Chris. Turns out he didn't have a gun but instead an empty glass of some sort he was threatening to throw at my window. I sat there with a goofy look on my face looking confused; trying not to entice the guy to throw anything at my window with any funny looks or laughing.

The cab driver eventually talked him down with some simple logic (ie. "Really, what are you doing, just go on your way?") and we continued on our way. The cabbie also said afterwards that he had a gun ready just in case.

4)Bought a large trashcan at KMart with Chris and Cleary. It only fit in the back seat so we forced Cleary to get in it laying sideways for the ride home. It was hillarious.

Music tastes.

2005-11-04T11:27:00.000-05:00

(11:14:44) me: http://www.last.fm/user/stuffbox
(11:15:19) susan: cool
(11:15:38) me: its kind of cool seeing what i play and the people that have similar music tastes as you can actually listen to the songs as a streaming radio type thing
(11:16:11) susan: cool
(11:17:34) me: the problem with the program is
(11:17:46) me: < > start blog < >
(11:18:18) me: i have a really eclectic assortment of music, including a lot of songs i really dont like too much
(11:18:41) me: and i leave my computer on shuffle a lot
(11:19:22) me: so theres a good chance a lot of weird j lo or similar songs might start getting on that list
(11:19:38) susan: hahaha
(11:19:42) susan: you love j lo
(11:19:44) me: and people will wonder, "why is ram listening to the pussycat dolls 40 times"
(11:20:29) me: and of course i will explain to them that i love the pussycat dolls but those other songs are all just a mistake
(11:20:52) susan: well will people really care?
(11:21:07) susan: i mean people would wonder why i've repeated "we used to be friends" like 100 times
(11:21:12) me: thats a good song
(11:21:16) susan: yes but
(11:21:17) susan: in a row
(11:21:19) susan: over and over
(11:21:37) me: which is cool
(11:21:47) susan: with maria taylor's song beneath the song
(11:21:53) me: well it messes up who my neighbors are
(11:21:54) susan: in between
(11:22:03) me: so if i want to listen to similar songs it screws that up
(11:22:46) susan: oh i see
(11:23:25) me: also if anyone is interested in looking at my music tastes for whatever reason id like it to be reasonably accurate
(11:23:45) me: just so i dont have to explain myself all the time
(11:24:05) susan: huh
(11:24:17) susan: you take your music rep very seriously
(11:24:17) me: < > end blog < >
(11:24:19) susan: hahaha
(11:24:37) susan: comment: hi ram. love your blog. why do you listen to j lo so much?
(11:24:50) me: see, its going to be stored on the internet forever
(11:25:05) me: when the people of the future look back upon their great leader
(11:25:16) me: i dont want them seeing nsync
(11:25:21) me: as one of my favorite bands
(11:26:33) me: < > ok, real end blog < >

Septa.

2005-11-02T14:16:00.000-05:00

Dear Septa,

Screw you.

Sincerely,
Ram

Passed Out People.

2005-10-31T23:55:00.000-05:00

I was looking through the recent pictures on my phone, which, on a side note, I have weirdly not been using as much for pictures, and I noticed that I have a good amount (3) sets of pictures of people just totally passed out. Having pictures of alcohol induced passed out people by itself is not weird but out of only about the last 70 pictures, three separate sets of pictures is more than usual. I will share a few with the internet now. I also just noticed that the pictures are from three consecutive weekends.

Sorry.

2005-10-31T23:22:00.000-05:00

I appologize to the reader(s?) of this blog for not updating too much. I was actually scolded at Millersville for not updating. OK, so here are some updates, at least for the past weekend.

Went to a large corn maze near Millersville on Friday with a bunch of people. Froze my ass off but it was fun. Also, weirdly dislocated my jaw or something eating some frozen skittles in said corn maze. Hurt for a day and a half.

For that night and the rest of Halloween I was one of my heroes, Harry Potter. I thought, "Hey, I am always Harry Potter on the inside but this was my chance to be him on the outside too."

Nerdgardium Leviosa !

Harry Potter grabs boobs.

Did a party on Saturday and on the way home from somewhere in the city, Cleary also danced for a gay cabbie while in shotgun. Pretty funny.

Costume Ideas.

2005-10-20T12:16:00.000-04:00

Anyone have any good ideas for a Halloween costume? Id like to go for funny almost innappropriate historical figures but anything clever will work also. I was jesus last year, howard hughes the year before.

Ideas I have heard so far:
-Dress up as one of my friends
-Avian bird flu (if a good idea of how this is possible arises it could be funny)
-Zach Braff from Garden State wearing a trashbag in the rain. w/a girl wearing an epilepsy helmet
-Bin Laden or more likely an obscure terrorist
-A.C. Slater
-Ghandi or the Pope
-Global Warming (see avian bird flu)
-Captain Planet and or planeteers

I am alive.

2005-10-19T03:14:00.000-04:00

Been awhile. Where have I been you may ponder? Well, I don't quite remember. There was one weekend full of party, the other full of alcohol.

Things I remember:
-Juan found a homeless guy sleeping on the porch couch during the huge rainstorm/house party sat oct 8.
-Our basement leaks and we have a few mice running around the house
-The tap and keg were stolen from our porch sometime between 4-9am after the party

Eh, well lets just consider these past 2 weeks lost, I can't remember enough to write.

KRONOS Training Day

2005-10-07T13:03:00.000-04:00

Ok. So this whole blog thing about what was technically a "boring" day in my work week and life was actually my idea. So if it's sub-par you can completely blame me. I work in a behavioral and mental health service company in the Human Resources Department. I've been around for about a month, but this past wednesday it was my turn to go on leave for KRONOS training. KRONOS is the new computer program for HR managers and other personel that cover mental health care workers and psychologists. Just from its explanation, you can tell that it's incredibly boring and i was signed up for a full 8 hour day of learning everything about it. First of all, it was in Plymouth Meeting and while I didn't know how to get there, I decided late in the morning that hitting the snooze button 5 times hurt my chances of being on time considering I get lost no matter what the scenario.

Miraculously, I not only got there with 5 minutes to spare, I found the building and floor and offices on the first try. I was so proud of myself in fact that I failed to notice, as I walked in, that I was training with 19 middle aged women and Horatio Sanz. Here's what's annoying about seminars, no matter where you are. The host or trainer will ALWAYS tell you that unlike a normal training day, he/she plans on "letting you out a little early". If you've been to one of these, even something remotely related to this type of session you know that not only is that not true, you are destined to leave later than you originally thought. This red flag went off in my head immediately, but seeing as how she said she had to catch a plane after the session, I took our trainer's word for it this time for some reason.

We have to talk about this woman first actually. She seemed wirey and screws-loose when i first walked in, but after a small bit i realized she was fully neurotic and crazy. I figured this would at least keep me awake as I had been getting very sleep lately and this was bound to be a little boring.

I was wrong about all that. As the first hour went by, I found out that it was actually incredibly boring and I was having a very very difficult time keeping my eyes open. I've been in this scenario before in any class I took ever in school so i knew what to do: Tighten your face to an extreme condition and raise your eyebrows up in hopes of somehow lifting your eyelids without actually using them. It came as a great shock to me when this technique failed me after about 30 to 45 seconds. It was embarassing too, if you understand, because here I am trying to do something professional and it's as if I'm in 8th grade looking out the window (which was only where i was sitting in the back of the room) and falling asleep on my desk. Finally I figure I have one last chance before falling on the floor and letting security take me out of the building. I try to constantly move my position in my seat to maybe keep my body awake.

This was the first of many disturbances caused by me and I was rarely professional for the rest of the day. The sad thing was that I had the whole day ahead of me as it was maybe 10 oclock. We were sitting at these metal table desk things, two to a table/desk, and it was the kind of flabby metal that really makes an obnoxious noise when something bangs into it (don't make fun of me for not knowing types of metals. I don't make fun of you for not knowing any United States Vice-Presidents). The point is that as I shifted drastically in my seat, i accidentally kicked this thing and it let out a huge CLANG! noise that pierced the ears of everyone in the building. Granted, I was embarassed, but at least I was in the back of the room so only my desk partner, Jesse the quiet mexican woman could look at me with contempt. Once again i was WRONG. Normally, when teaching a seminar or giving a speech, when something very loud and distracting happens, it's custom to pretend you didn't hear it and everyone in the audience will go with your leadership and also pretend they didn't hear it (it's like babies crying in church, or even REALLY loud cell phones in class at college). Skitza the neurotic woman teaching the seminar did not get this memo. By the way, I've named her Skitza as i have forgotten her real name.

"What the HELL was that?!?" this woman blurts out, stopping her session and forcing everyone in the room to turn around and look at me even though they all know pretty much what it was and how uneventful the whole thing was in the grand scheme of life. However, Skitza had set the stage and now there was nothing to do but try to see the shameful face of the boy who stood out like a sore thumb anyway. I really never had a protocol for this type of discomfort. I just kind of waved and gave a face like, "Oh these damn crazy desks right? They always get ya." Skitza gave the maximum allowable time for people to glare at me, then everyone got kind of bored and turned back to the front. Skitza still could not absolve me in this situation because she had completely lost where she was in the training for some reason and let the room sit in silence as she struggled with life and sanity even though I could have easily told her she was talking about promotion changes and personal accounts. I obviously couldn't make a peep though, as I was the asshole from the infamous noise scandal 10 seconds prior.

Now after a minute or two, i can tell everyone is thinking, "JESUS. We're never gonna get out of here on time". This is funny because when Skitza originally told us about leaving early, everyone was celebratory and banded together as a community of middle aged people who all can relate to wanting to go home even 30 minutes early. HOWEVER, once Skitza started, all ANYONE could do was ask series of never-ending questions that were ridiculous and uncalled for. I'm sitting there thinking, "hey, sweet! if you love leaving early so much, maybe you should just shut your mouth" but i was patient and professional. Amongst this crowd, only one person knew to be quiet and let Skitza go crazy for a few hours and then have lunch. This was of course, Horatio. The problem with him however, was that he was the I.T. guy for all these programs and knew them inside and out. Why he was there, I don't know. Somehow he had not actually gone through official training for application of the program. He took it upon himself to answer everybody's question before Skitza could talk and even answer questions nobody asked. So between the crazy 45 year old biddies and Horatio Sanz, the REAL disturbance was everyone BUT me. If this seminar was a sitcom, it would be a cross between something like "golden girls" and "Horatio Sanz explains it all".

I was getting so restless that when the time came to practice the applications of KRONOS, I was all excited because I could DO anything at all. Now let me say this about our generation. And if you can find one take-home message in this droning story going nowhere make sure it's this:

NO ONE in our PARENT'S generation has any NATURAL competence, intelligence, or skill with computers or programs compared to ANYONE in our generation. Even a guy like me, who has no formal practice, training, or computer knowledge has significantly more ability and skill with any new concept or program thrown at me than anyone else in the room. This is very cool normally because it's just in our generations' make-up and experience. However, when risking an outcome of staying in a hostile office environment until sun-up, it suuuuucks.

Originally, I thought it was funny. Skitza made a joke about how some moron the day before didn't even know how to double-click on a program icon. I thought it was a tremendous laugh. In fact, it was only after my loud, "Haa Haaaaaaaaa yeahhh" that I realized i was the only one laughing and now everyone hated me just a little more. It's cool though, cuz I hated them. As I quite easily picked up different steps of the program, I noticed that everyone was flipping out and yelling at Skitza and each other, freaking out, asking questions quicker than Skitz could answer them. As we tried to move on to different levels of this thing, more and more people found more and more problems. I was so floored with their inability I didn't know what to do with myself. I was falling out of my chair, looking around the room for anyone who could relate to my amazement. I even found myself looking out the window as if some floating superhero would be passing by and go, "yeah tad. these heads are fuckin pathetic."

When I calmed down and just decided to play around in the system, things actually got much worse. I had so much time on my hands that I started changing components and teaching myself new things that Skitz hadn't taught me. There's this piece of every person's account on KRONOS called (not making this up) Collective Operations Benefits Redemption Account, or as it was titled, COBRA. Without thinking or even considering what I was saying, I turn to Jesse the quiet mexican woman and with a cool but animated attitude go, "Hey. Check out my COBRA Status." Why I said that, I don't know. I mean there literally was a data entry called "Cobra status" so maybe subconsciously I thought it was funny. But WHY i blurted it out to Jesse the now frightened and recoiled mexican woman, I have no idea. I just didn't consider the implications. So while I was already the evil outcast to everyone in the room, especially the trainer, I was now also a creepy molester, and it wasn't even lunch time yet.

Things just went downhill from there. Uncomfortable about the cobra situation, I started to get flustered and accidentally kicked the metal desk again. While I got the whole room to look back for a second time, I ignored them and just tried to keep things comfortable with this frightened woman. "Hehe...I have big feet", I state with a shrug. .........a TERRIBLE thing to say to this woman who already thinks i'm a sex offender. I freak out, try to turn back to my computer, and accidentally kick the metal desk again.

It actually gets worse. I couldn't help but find humor in the whole series of events that had already happened. I had made things sooo uncomfortable for myself and there was way too much time left in the seminar. As Skitz goes back to talking, I try to keep my attention squarely on her so she doesn't think i'm any more of a problem. Immediately though, I start holding back laughter as I recap everything that had just happened. Skitz stops mid-sentence and goes, "what's funny?". I was thrown off-guard. I hadn't been put in this situation since highschool I think. What was the protocol back then? Did we say "nothing". Did we make something up? I was frozen. So I just go, "Oh. I'm sorry nothing. I was just thinking about ....umm.....the benefits department." Which was CLEARLY a lie. There's nothing more boring and UNfunny than benefits/payroll. THEN, Skitz continued her rant. "Well I just don't like the shit-eating grin. That's all".............She said that. Verbatim. This is a business seminar. I'm thinking, am I going to get into a brawl with this psycho woman here in my suit and tie?

My job is problem resolution and assorting difficult situations and solutions. I try to ease the situation slowly.

"No skitz. I understand. It was just something funny that I thought of. Completely separate from KRONOS. I apologize"

"Look. I just wanna get through all this so i can make my flight back to Boston at 5:30."

Why don't I ever shut up? Immediately my brain tells me to stay with the conversation.

"Philadelphia international?"

"Yeah. What else would i take?!"

"It LEAVES at 5:30?..........You're never gonna make it."

Well that did it. All hell broke loose. I'm not exaggerating. Skitz flew off the handle. "I know how to drive!! I know how to travel!! i'm from BOSTON! I've made flights in HALF the time!" Some people started trying to give her directions. Some started telling her how to change flights without paying money. One woman starting yelling about how she still couldn't figure out parts to KRONOS, i'm assuming because she feared a breakdown in the seminar.

Well, she was right. Skitz attempted to start the seminar back up, but became flustered and canceled everything by about 3:30. We all passed training and got to leave. It was beautiful. I, the annoying, disruptive, villian of the day had set all these pathetic workers free and become a hero amongst them all. I was very happy with how things turned out. I defeated the evil Skitza and proved my worth with 100% COBRA status.

Moved.

2005-10-05T16:18:00.000-04:00

Some cohorts and I moved this past weekend into a large house. Should be nice. There is no internet until friday which is why no posting is going on. Let me tell you, internet, moving sucks.

Lost again.

2005-09-29T15:31:00.000-04:00

I think Juan and I have solved Lost, and it's lame. The makers of Lost seem to just be using various Michael Crichton themes from his books.

1) Sphere - The seeming making of dreams coming true (legs working/polar bear/etc)
2) Prey - The monster is just made of small nano robots that work together (look like a dark cloud)
3) Jurrasic Park/Lost World - The bioengineered/robot of that shark from the last episode with the corporate symbol on it.
4) Andromeda Strain - The mysterious sickness that people are getting, could be similar to this book (or possibly just a nano virus)

There are other similarities to his books and by itself they still might not mean much until you read this or this where it talks about how the creater of the show were inspired by Michael Crichton and loves him.

Weekend.

2005-09-26T12:54:00.000-04:00

Went up to Millersville this weekend to do a surprise visit. Good times were had but nothing I feel like writing about right now. Was looking forward to playing(and dominating) racqueteball for the first time on sunday but unfortunatly due to some miscommunication (probably my fault) it didn't happen.

Oh, there is actually is one entertaining story from the weekend. Doug, Tad, and I were eating a pizza outside sitting on a bench next to the the football stadium where a game was going on. A tough looking guy on a motercycle rides up and stops right in front of us.
Guy: Hey, you guys go to school here?
Us: Yeah.
Guy: O.K. good, I'm looking for my daughter. Shes a sophomore here named Abbey Smith. She has blonde hair and drives a yellow jeep. I have her cellphone and need to give it back to her but I don't know where she is. I have her room number but I don't know what dorm she's in.
(there are thousands of people that go to millersville)
Us: Uh, ok. Yeah sorry we don't know her.
Guy: Oh, all right.
Doug: Well you can drop the phone off in the student center and then just tell her to go pick it up later.
Guy: I'll go do that.
Me(to doug and tad): Somehow we will run into Abbey Smith soon.

That was Saturday. Today, Monday, I get a call from Doug.
Doug: Guess what?
Me: What?
Doug: I was walking past the front desk of the student center today and I see this blonde girl go by me and overhear her saying to the front desk, "I think someone left a cellphone for me here, my name is Abbey Smith."
Me: Holy shizat.
Doug: I just busted out laughing and ran out of there.

It would have been great if Doug had actually talked to Abbey Smith and told her how coincidental the moment was but nay, she will never know that the person who actually helped her get her cellphone back was walking by.

Lost.

2005-09-22T22:04:00.000-04:00

For the past two days this has been my life.
12:00pm - Wake up.
12:03pm - Look at computer/miscelleneous.
12:15pm - Watch lost.
1:00am - Get ready for bed/sleep.

Notice eating and clothing myself were not included. Anyway, now that I am caught up I can have a stupid theory like everyone else. My theory is..it's all some sort of game based on luck/faith/imagination, the monster is a nano robot and there is possibly something to do with cloning going on.

Ideas.

2005-09-19T22:59:00.000-04:00

As I have not done this in awhile I will try to come up with some more awesome inventions that would revolutionize our society...ok, ready....lets see....got it:

1)A system for cars that would allow the driver to "flip a switch" and have the ability to turn the back wheels instead of the front wheels (or maybe turn both), allowing easier parallel parking. If only the back wheels turned you could parallel park from the front instead of reversing into spots. This would also maybe help if your car got stuck in the mud or snow as you could turn the wheels sideways instead of just digging a deeper hole.

2)Oh, I had a small idea while in the car going down to the beach, it would be a small bluetooth or wireless device that would plug into your computer that would communicate with a small ipod nanoesque thing you could carry around your house and use to control the music library on your computer or even your computer itself (maybe instant messaging or something). As it would be a thin client (ooo, techical terms) the thing could be really small and cool looking, just basically a screen with bluetooth and minimal processing. Also, multiple people could possibly use your music library at at the same time if you had multiple receivers. Eh, cellphones can almost do this type of stuff already.

Beach.

2005-09-19T21:07:00.000-04:00

Went to Ocean City, Maryland this weekend. Second trip back to there following the crazy last time. This weekend in Ocean City there was some sort of motercycle convention and the streets/everything were full of bikers, over 100 thousand so says some random unreliable cashier I've never met before. We actually returned to the PartyBlock and I now have memories of the place. I also have some pretty funny videos of a dance party that occured really late saturday night. I might post them sometime.

Yeah.

2005-09-13T16:59:00.000-04:00

...and that's how I got a plastic bag full of authentic nazi flags.

That's only the end of the story. Actually, the beginning isn't even that interesting so I'll leave it to your imagination.

Prairie Fire.

2005-09-13T13:14:00.000-04:00

Over the weekend in Baltimore.
Tequilla and tabasco. This one shot combined with an overly full night of drinking caused me to feel like crap the next few days, especially the next morning and into the afternoon. I eventually vomited sometime around 2pm while taking a shower (i made it to the toilet) which is an event itself. The warm water was the direct cause somehow. It was not plesant and tasted like tabasco. Blah. I also deleted some phone numbers off of a girls cellphone sometime during the previous night under the ruse of adding my own phone number because she was being a bitch. I think I stumbled upon an amusing way of revenge. I should have just changed some of the numbers also...maybe next time.

I also had the privliege to drive lost around the most stereotypical ghetto neighborhood in baltimore at midnight.

Story Time by Ryan.

2005-09-12T01:35:00.000-04:00

Forward by Ram: My old highschool friend Ryan, who recently graduated from Syracuse University in NY told me this story in Las Vegas outside the Belagio a few months ago while we were waiting for the fountain show to begin (it never did, son of a bitch bastard). I thought it was hilarious and wanted it saved on my blog. While this written form is a valid explanation of the story, the full hilarity of the story can only be known if you hear him tell it. He also cannot spell at all and wrote the ~~first half~~ whole of the story drunk. I edited it somewhat to correct some spelling and any comments I have to add will be in [italics].

Hey my name is Ryan and I was asked to retell a story that happened to me for my boy rammy's blog thing. This story takes place over the course of about three years and its pretty fucking long... not to mention that I am kind of drunk right now so bear with me.

It all began on a random ass weekend during which we (all the springfield [our highschool] heads) decided to come home from college to chill. I had just turned 21 so it was at the beginning of junior year, 2003. My house, or rather my basement, has always been our drinking spot because my mom doesnt care. Well actualy she is in bed by 6pm because she is old ass but that is a totaly different set of stories [actually, I have already written a couple stories about Ryan's mom, Mrs. K]. The night was going well and from what I can remember we were all fairly sloshed. We decided to walk to wawa which is about seven to fifteen city blocks depending on wind speed and direction.

Earlier that day my neighborhood had had the anual block party and whoever was in charge of beer decided it would be a good idea to leave two kegs out on the side on the street. Well, as we are walking to wawa we pass the two kegs and immediatly make plans to steal the shit out of them on the way home. We make our way to wawa, get our shit, and were off to finish the evening with the unexpected night cap. We get to the kegs and me and Doug haul one of them shits back to my garage.

The kegs were only quarters so if you have ever seen them they have a big fucking cork in the bottom that is used, I am guessing, as a spot to refill said keg. Well, as the obvious point of entry, we pulled out a hammer (which also belonged to Doug) and start to wail away on this cork untill it was pushed it into the bowels of the thing. Proud as shit of ourselves, and still drunk to boot, we ran and got cups so we could enjoy the fruits of our labor. With doug pouring I was able to fill the cups. We tosted to world peace and drank..... Fucking Root Beer. [it was pretty good root beer]

At this point there was only one solution: steal the other keg. We ran back down the street to the spot of the block party. I hoist the other one on to my sholder and we begin to walk back. About fifty yards down the road we hear someone yell "Hey Stop!" We turn to see a man on the front lawn of the house where the kegs were, shaking an angry fist. Doug looks at me, hisses "drop it man" and takes off. Clearly I had only one choice and that was to keep the thing on my sholder and run back to my house. As I come panting up my driveway dougy boy is waiting for me laughing because I still had the damn keg.

Back into my garage we went to bust in the second cork. One thing I forgot to mention was the sound that this thing made every time it was struck with the hammer. I mean we could have put Quazimodo to shame. The other half dozen people that were waiting in my house came out as soon as they heard us back at work. We once again managed to bust in the cork to find that this one was full not of root beer, but of some quality pale ale. Cups poured, we all went back into the basement completely oblivious to the deep shit we were in.

[I almost forgot that I had a famous picture of this thanks to my trusty phone (the one I killed in a toilet awhile back). Doug on left, Ryan on right. The date is 10/5/03 3:18am]

After about fourty five minutes of merryness and cheer Sara decides she has had enough fun for one night and tells us all she is heading out. Acompanied by our friend Jeff, who was also trying to leave, they head out to the street where all the cars are parked. As Jeff was headed down the driveway to the house he was stopped in his tracks by at least two spotlights bearing down on him. I dont know what tipped the cops off. It might have been that there were about seven cars parked in front of my house. Or perhapse it was that I only live about eight houses down from the spot where we stole the kegs. Regardless, the savy investigatory skills of springfields finest managed to lead them right to Jeff. Cornered, they told him that they knew that two kegs had been stolen and that they were inside my house. Not about to deny it, Jeff headed back up to my place with four officers in toe.

By some luck of the draw, Sara was walking some paces behind Jeff and sees the cops are coming. Before the cops see her, she sprints back downstairs to inform us all that jeff had guests. After a few moments of panicked deliberation all of our friends begin a quick clean up of the basment while I go up stairs to head them off at the pass. I get to my back door to find Jeff and his entourage waiting. Now, unknown to me, about ten minutes earlier Ram had decided to go up to take a piss.[I actually went upstairs to the bathroom to play with a bunch of kittens being kept in the bathroom. Ryan's mom is a cat lady.] The cops bully their way into the house (which I now know thanks to matlock to be illegal without a warrant) and start asking questions. As I am doing my best to answer Ram strolls in not having any warning of the situation. Sensing this weakness, two of them corner Ram and ask him for his name and ID. Obviously Ram thought the best plan of action was to refuse their request which just pissed them off more. [I had no idea what was going on and was very hesitant to give random police officers my name or id. I don't know the law (still don't) but I suspect you don't really have to give them ID's or names if you are inside private property like that. The conversation was something like this when I walked out to the dark hallway with 2 bright lights shining on me:

Cops: Who are you? What is your name?
Ram: Umm, who are you?
Cops [annoyed]: We are police officers, what is your name?
Ram: Yeah...ok, what is going on here?
Cops [more annoyed]: What is your name! Show us your id.
Ram: Right, do I really legally have to give you my name or id?
I was worried about all of the underage drinking occuring downstairs, so I was heistent to give any info without knowing why they were there. I also didn't know of the major cleanup happening downstairs.]

We all headed downstairs to the rest of the party and in their credit they had done a damn fine job of cleaning. The basement showed no sign of a party and therefore the cops didnt ID any of the others wich was good because, ram, jeff, waxbrain, and I were the only ones of age. Actualy come to think of it they never even got rammy to show them his ID which baffels me. Trying to be cooperative as possible I showed them into my garage where the two kegs sat waiting. They actualy chuckeled when I explained to them that the first keg had been filled with root beer. Two of them actually seemed pretty cool but the sergent, or who ever the fuck he was, was a real hard ass. He told me that I had to take the kegs back immediatly. In addition he told us all that they would be waiting at either end of my street and if any of us left before dawn they would give us a sobrioty test (which im sure was bull shit).

As I took full resposibility for the kegs they had nothing more to say to the rest. I headed out through the garage with them and shouldered one of the kegs. Feeling their jobs were complete the ranking officers departed leaving only the rookie to write me up my ticket. I walked the kegs back and joined the remaining cop out by his car. He told me not to worry, that he would mention on the ticket that we cooperated and that the judge would most likely just slap me on the wrist and give me a small fine. Handing me the ticket he got in the car and left.

Phew, I hope your still with me...
Weeks later I recieved a letter in the mail anouncing that my court date was set for december the twelth I went back to college and as the weeks pased the whole fiasco slipped from my mind. My mom, determined to wash her hands of the whole thing, told me nothing of the reminder that came in the mail only a week before the date of my hearing. If you have ever met me then it is no suprise that I absolutly missed the hearing and not until I recieved a letter in the mail over the chrismas holiday's did I realize my error. The letter read something like: 'Ryan, your failure to appear in court on the scheduled date has resulted in an appointment for you to pay the maximum fine.' The maximum fine being 500 some odd dollars. Seeing as they had done me a great injustice I called the court house and was able to set an appeal hearing.

After another few weeks I once again got a letter from them saying that my appeal hearing was now set for december 2004 (about a year and a half after the whole thing had gone down). Back to school I went... Winter turned into spring, spring into summer, summer into fall, and all of the sudden it was december again. Now you might be thinking 'I know this kid is a retard for missing his court date but there is no way he could possibly miss it again.' Well you would have thought wrong. I remember it the day of the date and call the court house to find that my hearing had been that morning. After giving some bull shit sob story about how it had been scheduled on an exam day, and that i had never recieved a letter giving me an exact date I was told that I might have one last hope. I was to write a letter to the judge asking for a second appeal hearing. So I write this long letter saying that I am a student, and that the date was scheduled during an exam, and that I couldnt make it home because of snow, and any other bull shit I could come up with. And believe you me it fucking works. The judge writes me back saying that he understands my position and that he would allow me one last shot to appeal. So hearing number three has now been set for mid summer 2005 (2 years after the incident).

This is where the whole thing gets out of hand. So, determined not to forget my final hearing I make every effort to remind myself, and believe it or not it works. On the day of the hearing (which is set for 9:30 am) I get all dressed up in my finest attire and head out to norristown where the courthouse is. I get there fashionably early and find that I am the first person there. After having some problems going through the metal detector because of my fucking belt buckle, I find court room six. For some reason I knew it was gona be a rough day the second I walked in there. Maybe it was the vom stain just as im walking through the door. Maybe it was the fact that all I have in my hand is a docket slip telling me where to go. Things just didnt feel right.

So I walk into the court room and am, like I said, the first person in there; other than this old dude, three people who I think were witnesses, a few courtly people that im sure were important, and the bailifs. I walk up to the front of the stadium seating (which I must add was verry plush) and look for someone to announce my presence to. The closest person, and the first to make eye contact with me, was the old dude. He mosies over to me and asks "Yes?"

Me:"Hi, my name is Ryan and im hear for my appeal hearing."
Old dude [checks his shit]: "Yes, you right here, your first on the list. You can have a seat right there if you want to." "Right there" being the front row of the seating where us criminals were suposed to chill.
So I take my seat in the front row and spend about ten minutes just looking around. One thing I notice is that the court room is slowly filling as the minutes tick away. And being the intellectual that I am a pattern arises. Every person that walks into this court room is accompanied by another person in a suit. Quickly I find that the suit wearers are attornies.Well, not liking this at all (as I have no one with a suit) I decide to go bug the old dude again. I stand up and make some gestures that I need to speek with him and he heads over.
Old dude: "Yes."
Me:" ummm, am I going to have to speek?"
Old dude: "Where is your attorny?"
Me: "Attorny?"
The old dude looks at me kind of cock eyed and says "do you have an attorny?"
Me: "No."
The old dude kind of laughs and says "Well, if you dont speek on your behalf no one will."

This is when the panic starts to set in. He turns his back and retires to his desk and I sit the fuck back down. At this point there is still about half an hour untill my trial and as the time goes by I am getting more and more afraid. Then a revolation hits me that should have occured about sixteen months prior. 'Doesnt an appeal hearing mean that I am pleadiong not guilty." Leave it to me to have not thought about this one but, Clearly I was guilty, I had admited to the cops to being guilty. All I really wanted to do was get the fine droped. The only conclusion I could come to in my head was 'what the fuck am I doing here.' In official panic mode I get back up and make my slight arm flails again to get the old dude's attention as he seems to know what the hell was up. He see's me and heads back over.

Me: "So ummm, im supposed to be pleading not guilty right."
Dramatic pause.
Old Dude: "This is an appeal hearing, yes of corse."
Me: "Well im not really trying to pread not guilty, I mean, cuz I am.......... guilty."
Old Dude: "Well what happened?"
I give him an abreviated story of the events leading up to that day including the the incident itself. The guy waits patiently untill the end and says:
Old Dude: "No no, I meant why are you here. I'm not the person you should be telling this story to, I am the prosecuter. I am the one who will be arguing against you on behalf of the arresting officer."

This is when I shat my pants. This old dude who I thought was helping me to not look like a fool turned out to be the guy that was gonna try to screw me. And now, I had told him my entire argument and that I didnt even have an attorny. So, in a daze, I sit back down and he goes back to his desk... the prosecuters desk. So im sitting there and the only thing I can think to do is run. Just get up and roll out. I mean the worst that happens is that they give me the same fine I already had. I am about to get up when the old dude turns and walks back over to me.

Old dude, sorry I mean prosicuter: "Ok, here is what im gona do, since you arent trying to plead not guilty, and you are obviously way out of your league, I am going to save us both some time. I am going to cut you fine in half and that will be that."
At this point my brain is screaming 'SETTLE!!!!!' So I tell the guy that it sounded good to me (trying to remain calm cool and collective). He tells me that he needs to go take care of a few things and asks for me to follow him as he leads me into this little side room which I assume was his office. His pulls me up a seat and then leaves the room. Just when I am starting to feel like things might just be all right the door opens again. But this time it isnt the old dude; its officer hard ass. The very cop that was such a jack ass in my basement (who I have not seen in two years) walks in and says:

Cop: "I remember you!"
I crap my pants a second time.
He walks over and looks down at me.
Cop:"Been staying out of trouble?"
Me:"Yes" I say to him.
Cop:"I hope so. You know you have missed your hearing twice."
It then hits me like a ton of bricks that this guy must have had to come all the way out to norristown for both of my previous court dates, not knowing that I was actually passed out on someones front lawn in syracuse.
Me: "I know. I'm really sorry if you had to come out here for those. I had no intention of stiffing you. Its just they kept schedualing the hearings on the very days that I had final exams."
Cop:"Are you in college then?"
Me:"Yea, I go to Syracuse in New York."
Cop:"Ahhh good school, your basketball team didnt do so well in the tournament this year. What is your major?"
Me:"Aerospace engineering"
Cop:"Really? Well I was just talking to the prosacuter and he said you weren't pleading not guilty. What is that all about?"
Me:"Well, it's just that they gave me the maximum fine for missing my first court date. I just got accepted into grad school a few months ago and now more then ever I can ill afford to pay $500 for a fine that was going to be only about $40.You see, I was covered for undergrad through scholarships but I have to pay for grad school on my own."
Cop[For the first time this guy looks at me like im not some punk ass little kid.]:"Yea, I know what you mean. I have a son that is going to La Salle right now and a daughter that is going to be goin off to school after this year."
Me[I give him the face like I actualy care.]:"yea, its rough now a days. Syracuse costs like 36K per year for undergrad."
The cop changes directions.
Cop:"Well the prosecuter said that he was gonna cut the fine in half. That should help."
Me:"Yea but the fine isn't the only thing I was worried about. I really dont want to have this on my record. I mean as an engineer, if I want to get a government job or any of that stuff I need to have a clean record."
Cop:"Yea.. but they usualy will give you a young, dumb, and stupid strike."
I look down ready to accept that he wasnt gona give any more and say "yea..."
He seemed to watch me for a minute or two then he turns to walk out. Half way to the door he turns back to me and asked something I will never forget. Something so unexpected I couldnt even answer at first:
Cop:"What CD do you have in your car?"
........
Me:"What?"
Cop:"Do you have a CD player in your car?"
Me:"Yes"
Cop:"Well what CD is in your car?"
If I remember crrectly it was Marshal Mathers LP but I wasnt about to tell him that. Quick goat thinking i'm like:
Me: "The Allman Brothers!" (middle aged guys always love the Allman Brothers)
Cop [looking shocked]:"What album."
Me:"Eat a Peach."

He grins at me then exits the room. A minute or two go by then the door opens and in walks the prosecuter again. He no longer had the slow swager to him. He seemed very upright and buisness like. He comes over to me and says "The officer in question feels that you have changed. He is under the impression that this has been a one time offense and has therefore decided to drop all charges." I was so shocked a asked "Are you sure?" as if to give him a chance to take it back. He nods and tells me that he will call me to the stand. He says he will tell the judge the charges have been droped and that will be that. Well I am now on clowd nine. I mean half an hour before I was about to run for it and now im off scott free. Absolutly unable to supress a grin I head back out to my seat which seems much more comfortable than it did before. Looking around at all the these other suckers just made me laugh. I mean I was openly laughing at people I was so happy with myself. A few more minutes pass and the room gets called to quiet.

"The honerable Judge Reinhold (or whatever his name was) residing, all rise." Blah blah blah, I didnt give a crap cuz I was free. They go through the courtroom mumbojumbo and finaly we all sit. Now, like I just said everything seemed much funnier now. Where a few minutes ago this would have been a very stressfull time for me I was instead chuckling at the stupid little formalities that all the suits had to follow. Only about thirty seconds after I sit back down the jusd asks the prosicuter to get things started.

The prosecuter says "The first case is that of ryan vs. the commonwealth of pennsylvania". Silence. I am sitting there looking around when I become aware that the prosecuter has turned to stare at me. I grin and nod as if the fact that I got off was a little private joke that I was waiting for him to announce. I then relize that he along with everyone else (about 20 court people, 4 bailifs, 25 accused criminals, and their suits) are staring at me waiting for me to take the stand. I jump up and head down the row without the faintest clue what im supposed to be doing. I get to the little knee high gate thing and this balif who was about six foot six, two hundred and eighty pounds, lets me into the court area. I slowly wander right through the middle of all of these fucking people looking at me and head to the only empty desk. I get there and sit down still smiling because no matter how confused I was I knew I was getting off.
Silence. I look around to find that the prosecuter is giving me the upward head twitch that meant that I was supposed to be standing. I stand back up.

Finally the jugde, looking annoyed already looks at me and says in a booming voice,
Judge:"Ryan, how do you plead?"
Me[With a big dumb fucking grin]:"Guilty!"
The look that this judge gives me was fucking priceless. I mean he had already waited like two minutes for me to get to the stand. And when he asks me during my appeal hearing (which exists so that I Can plead not guilty) I am doing exactly the opposite. In addition a consistant hum of wispering is now coming from the peanut gallery because all of the people in the "stands" are wondering what the hell is going on. Now thoroughly convinced that I am a god damn moron, the judge turns back to the prosacuter and says:
Judge:"Do you have any statements?"
Prosecuter[looking him right in the eye]:"The state has decided to drop all charges against Ryan."
For a few seconds the judge looked like he thought he was getting punked. The hum of the peanut gallery grew to confused talking. When his honor see's that the prosecuter is not joking he turns back to me and says in a voice like he had given up:
Judge: "All right, have you payed any fines yet Ryan."
Me:"No"
Judge:"Very well, the secretary here will fill out your court recipt and you will be free to go."

He motions over to a chick sitting at a desk to his left. So naturaly I get up and walk over to her. This was not the right move. It must have looked like a was aproaching the bench because the judge leans forward as if to answer a question of mine. I then become aware that I was supposed to go and sit down untill it was ready and then it would be given to me. In a very awkward moment I turn my back on the expecting judge and walk back through the middle of the court room to the knee high gate where I came in. All or this only to find the huge balif guy blocking my way. He points to a gate on the other side and says "you have to exit that way." All of this time everyone is watching me because they cant call the next person untill I am out of there. So they all watch me walk back through the middle of the court scene to the correct gate and exit. I took so long walking around that the secratary practically beat me to the gate. She gave me my recipt and turned. Assuming I was free to go I headed for the exit. I was practically running by the time I got there. So out I went, happy as hell but still a little confused as to what had just happened.

Why I deserved to get that lucky, I have no idea and never will. But I do know one thing, I will never go to court again without my very own guy in a suit.

Relaxing.

2005-09-08T18:42:00.000-04:00

The term ended at the beginning of september. School doesn't start again until the end of september. That means I have quite a lot of free time (for drexel people) to just sit back and relax. Good times. I'm waiting for my friend, Ryan, to email me one of the funnier stories I have ever heard. Ryan told the story when I was in Las Vegas a few months ago. I had only known part of the story (the part I was involved in) but had no idea how hillarious it turned out. I had asked him to write it up and I would post it. Hopefully it should come someday soon.

I'm going down to Baltimore tomorrow and will hopefully come back with something to remember.

Whoops.

2005-09-05T02:53:00.000-04:00

I accidently got too drunk last night. It was unfortunate because I finally got Nick to tell his "greatest story of all time" andI cannot remember it. I remember it was funny and thats about it. I also drooled a lot on the couch pillows and somehow broke into some sort of devil speak where I rhymed all my drunked ramblings. Juan tried to get a recording of it but by the time he obtained his phone to record I had stopped rhyming and all I can be heard saying in the recording is something really slurry and nonsensically drunken like "drink the drink".Whoops.

Yay.

2005-09-02T12:29:00.000-04:00

Well, I can now control and access my computer through bluetooth on my phone....wait, why did I do that again? Damnit.

Buddy Lists.

2005-08-30T12:26:00.000-04:00

How many creepy old screen names do you have on your buddy list? People that you never talk to or even care about. I seem to have collected quite a few over the years. I don't even remember who some of them are. Maybe I should remove them. For example. Some 17 year old girl from arizona? Why and how are you on my buddy list?

Lyrics Search.

2005-08-29T16:16:00.000-04:00

UPDATE:
Well I guess I was bored, I actually started making it. It works surprisingly well for what it is but it's not going to be released yet(if ever released) as it needs some work. I also have yet to actually index the lyrics for later searching. It also only works with winamp so far. Ill get stupid itunes in there soon. Here is a screenshot.

Foghat rules.

---------------------------
Aug 25th, 2005
I had an what I thought was a novel idea a few days ago for a plugin to the new google desktop search. (also get the google IM program google talk which integrates into the new sidebars) It would search all the music you had on your hard drive and index or tag the mp3 with the lyrics for the song. (lyrics would come from internet lyric databases, as long as your files are named somewhat correctly) This would allow you to search for songs you have based on the lyrics. The sidebar now included with the desktop search could also have a panel to display the song lyrics of the current song playing. I liked the idea and decided to unrust my programming skills as I havn't really programmed anything since that paperchess program.

Well I find today that someone has already made something somewhat similar and its pretty cool. EvilLyrics is the program name and it can interface with the major music players. It automatically finds the lyrics for the current song playing (from internet sites) and displays them. You can then add the lyrics to the mp3 tag(through a plugin) or even find karaoke files which will step through the lyrics as they are happening. Cool stuff. Well made program. I still might make my plugin since EvilLyrics doesn't do much for searching and its not integrated into the cool google desktop search. My idea doesn't seem as novel as I thought though. Anyway, I recommend downloading EvilLyrics. Do it.

Millersville.

2005-08-27T17:45:00.000-04:00

Another lazy friday night...was had by some poor souls. HAH, I'm hillllarious. I, on the other hand, drove out to Millersville to my friend Doug's house for a party. "I'm going to get stupid drunk", I exclaim as I arrive and rush towards the beer. The party was already started when I showed up at around 9pm. Highlights from the night include witnessing an extremely long game of beer pong, which went into double redemption overtime as well as domination in flip cup. Time was also spent trying to get some random girl to drive me to taco bell without any luck. One of the funnier incidents from the night went something like this:

Paul:I'm hungry.
Chris: Me too. Look, there's a canned ham.
Somehow they challenge eachother to eat the ham raw. Which they both do, silently staring eachother down while eating. I am just sitting at the table zoning out.
Me: wow.
(Chris and Paul finish and leave)
Doug (walking up and seeing the open ham can): Who the fuck opened this ham? Where is it?
Me: Chris and Paul ate it, raw.
Doug: What?? That thing is like 4 years old. It was a christmas gift we just kept sitting on the counter.

Surprisingly, the 4 year old christmas ham didn't seem to have any ill effects. Ah, college. Hmm, I think I also threatened to stab someone in the stomach. Ah right, I remember, yeah I was joking because the person had talked about it earlier but I'm not sure if he remembered the reference.

It shall also be recorded henceforth for all time:
Kristen (drunkenly informative): Don't make me laugh...I peeee when I laugh.

Intellifit.

2005-08-22T23:11:00.000-04:00

I was at a mall this weekend and saw a peculiar looking little "station" in between some kiosks. It had fancy looking monitors and a chamber in the middle. I saw a girl inside standing inside the chamber perfectly still while a machine rotated around her. I asked the woman operating the thing what was going on and she said the machine scanned your body and determined what size clothes you should wear depending on what brand the clothes are. All the information is stored on a credit card type type thing. Creeped out by the thought of being scanned by some sort of radiation I was hesitant at first. I then realized, "whatever." So I had to take out my cellphone, keys, and any large metal things. Whats really creepy is that they ask for your name, age, and email address. So not only do they have that, but they have a full body scan of you. I gave fake info so it wasn't really a problem.

And I got my card...whoopee.

Here is the website for intellifit.

Six Feet Under

2005-08-22T23:08:00.000-04:00

That show is the most anti happy show, ever.

Runts.

2005-08-17T19:44:00.000-04:00

I think I'm one of the only people alive that actually like the fruit shape candy, runts. It was too bad when they got rid of the lime and added the blueberry and watermellon. Even though the lime was the worst, its not as bad as the ones they added.

AC and the Night I (really) Almost Got in a Fight.

2005-08-14T17:43:00.000-04:00

This last friday I went with Juan and Chris to Atlantic City where a friend of ours, Nick, had just returned from a long adventure in Italy. Nick was staying in his beach house, which seems pretty close to the casinos. I was hopinig to go to said casinos sometime that night. We arrive and Nick regales us with hillarious tales of Europe while we sit around. Come 3:00am we decide to go to the Tropicana casino. We arrive and find the roulette table. I instantly gain and lose $15. Chris wins $175 in 40 seconds. I head to the poker tables with Nick and we sit down at a 2-4 table. First hand I win with a pair of 10's and collect a good $20. Not wanting to take Nick's money I move to a different table. Along the way I happen to bump into 3 people from highschool I havn't seen in 6 years (Brett, Bill and Dan). At the second table I manage to quickly win a few hands and I am up about $50. Slowly my winnings dwindle until the time I leave. I take stock of my money and see that I end up winning $4. Darn, well, a win is a win. Chris ended up losing all his money as did Nick. Juan broke even I think.

We leave the casino at around 5:00am and take a Jittney (some weird shuttle) about half way to a wawa for food. The rest of the trip we walk home. We get to sleep at around 6:00am. The next day (yesterday..saturday) we go to the beach and relax. Come 7pm and Juan, Chris and I head back to Philadelphia. Back at the appartment we shower and get ready to go out. We head out to Old City and the first place we go is some sort of bar where we order a few cheaper drinks before going to the expensive places. I happen to mention that I feel something interesting will happen tonight. Later, at Moda, we notice it is quite full with girls but after an hour or so we realize they were all bitches. I then come to realize that Old City is pretty much full of bitches, it's a shame. Walking around we see a place called World Fusion and decide to check it out if there was no cover. Chris is in front of me and Juan and pulls what may be the most amazing club entrance I've ever seen. Before I can determine what is going on, Chris has quickly zigzagged past the bouncer (who was talking to a girl in line), the cover collector (who was talking to a waitress who had just walked outside), and through the entrance. Right after hes gone the bouncer and cover collector look around only to see me and Juan standing there in amazement. It was the absolute perfect timing. I had seen Chris try this move before but never sucessfully. Usually he ends up getting pushed by the bouncer. So, anyway, Chris was gone. I didn't feel like paying cover. I instead got two slices of pizza. Juan and I get a cab later and head back to the appartment. I remember that I thought something was going to happen this night but nothing had yet occured except for Chris's entrance.

I only have $6 and Juan has $3. The cab ride to Old City was $7.40. With tip, we would be cutting it close. Juan decides to be noble and says that we should just get out if and when the meter hits $8 so we can tip him $1. I decide this is ridiculous because a tip is optional. We might as well go right to $9 since that is all we have and I tried to tell the cab driver that. We come to a block or two away from the appartment and the meter hits $8. Juan tells the guy to stop and we get out, giving him the $9. He then drives past us, past our appartment building and onward. I start arguing with Juan about how stupid it was to get out when we did and how the whole purpose of a tip. If we had money to tip we would but for the casese where you really do not have the money for a tip, it is OK, since the tip is technically optional. Considering the guy was going to drive right by our appartment anyway the amount of money the guy would have when driving by our appartment would be $9 whether we got out two blocks earlier or not it seemd so ridiculous. So Juan is arguing but more trying to insult me by saying I'm spoiled since I have never worked a job with tipping involved as we walk into our appartment lobby. I respond by saying something about computers and not needing to do that type of job and I hear a girl in front of us say, "Nerd", under her breath, and in a pretty negative connotation. I am pretty drunk at this time let me mention. As I walk by the girl, who was with another girl and a dude, I say:

Me: Wha? Did you just say nerd?
Girl: Oh, me? no, no (sarcastically giggles)
Me: (walking away) Ahh ok, I see.....Bitch!
Dude: Did you just say something?
Me: Wha? Did I say something? No, no, that couldn't have been me.

At this time the drunken dude with the girls starts yelling and threatening me as we are walking to the elevators. Also threatening Juan. I am thinking, if it comes down to it, me and Juan will beat the crap out of this guy. I could probably take him myself and with Juan it would be no problem.

Dude: blah blah blah, I probably will end up poor, bald and divorced, mastrubating to the JC Penny catalog. (of course he didnt really say this but it was nonsensical frat tough guy talk)
Me: Wha? Hmm. Ok.
Dude: blah blah.
Juan: Sorry man, hes pretty drunk.
Dude: blah blah.
Me: Yeah ok, sure. Sure.

Now at the elevator I saw another dude holding the elevator door for them. This is when I started second thinking any possible fight. Neither of us have really been in a fight before and I didn't really trust Juan as a goto backup for fighting. That other guy was with them so he was sure to come and help out so 2 vs 2 didn't seem the best of odds. Of course I knew we still could have possibly beaten them but it would have hurt afterwards.

So I'm doing my sarcastic asshole impression, careful not to say too much as to get punched in the face first (if any punching was happening I wanted to throw the first punch). I'm pretty good at avoiding fights as I have been in similar situation many times. The dude finally pushes me back and the girl goes in between us but I decide it is not the time. They get in the elevator and off they went. Now, if Chris happened to be with us at the time it probably would have ended up as a bloody mess as I would have probably gone for it after he pushed me (mostly because I was drunk and in a fighting mood).

There aren't really many justifiable reasons to get in a fist fight, especially to start a fight. The one main reason you do get in a fight is if someone punches you first or you think he really might do it (pre-emptive style).

I later learned that Juan actually knew the other guy on the elevator and is kind of friendly with him.

New York City...and LBI

2005-08-14T14:54:00.000-04:00

First of all, New York city is awesome. Makes Philly look crappy as it is huge and there is always something to do (until 4am when bars close!) This is a long story and I might get rambly. It must be recorded though for future references as to what I did with my life..since I will not remember this too well soon.

Ok. So here is what happened approximately a week ago (8/5). I get out of class and make plans for the night to see a movie (My date with drew) and then hit up some old cityish places. Juan is brainwashed by anything he hears on the radio and the radio told him to see the movie. Before the movie I decide to go to Roosevelts for happy hour with a friend. I arrive and subsequently get pretty tipsy. I walk back to the appartment to find Juan and Chris who tell me, "your going to new york". It was Jud's birthday and he was going to New York to visit his twin sister for birthday fun. Following my basic rules of life (never say no to anything that could be adventure) I drunkenly pack up a backpack full of clothes and we head out. Chuck also joins us. With nowhere to sleep we decide the goal of the night is to find some random people and sleep at their place.

Once in New York we leave the car at a parking lot for the night. We also leave all of our stuff (besides waterbottles full of vodka and whiskey [it was going to be an expensive night so might as well get a cheap start]). Unable to drink straight warm vodka (as juan found out when he forgot it wasnt water) we walk around and find a deli type store where we buy some tonic. We then get a few cups and begin mixing our drinks right there at the table. It must have looked pretty obvious. Still tasted warm and nasty. After finding out where Grace and Jud were we head to their location via cab, a bar called Maritime. I later realize that its a bar attached to a hotel called Maritime.

Saw this sweet hydraulic car on the way

Upon arriving at the Maritime place we quickly discover although there is no cover, drinks are very expensive ($8 beer is the cheapest). Grace, Jud, highschool friend Ted, and some of their friends are already there sitting down.

They mention that Billy Baldwin was in line behind them when they were coming in. I'm always curious about B-celebrities so this peaked my interest. Later in the eve I'm walking around and sure enough I see Billy Baldwin drunkenly trying to hit on 3 middle age women. He can barely hold his shot glass up. I really want to take a picture but realized that if he saw me trying to take his picture that was a sure punch in the face. I feebly tried the old 'pretend to talk on the phone while taking a picture as I walked by' but it didn't turn out. Didn't feel like putting any more effort into it after that.

He is the one with the white shirt to the right.

The Maritime is a cool place and became even cooler when I learned there was an upstairs area. It was funny in that there were two ways to get to the upstairs area. On each opposite side of the larger downstairs area. One of the stairs had a long line of people waiting, so much so that the bouncer wasn't letting anymore people in. The other staircase had no line at all and the bouncer was letting people in freely. Suckers. As I was going up the stairs I happened to look at the walking guy in front of me. At the glance I got of him I instantly recognized him as Bill Maher (of politically incorrect for those who don't know). I told Juan, who was with me, that I think I saw Bill Maher ahead of me but he was skeptical. At the upstairs area we went to the bar to get a drink and, sure enough, there was Bill Maher getting a drink. Juan acknowledged that it was indeed him and right about that time Bill Maher happened to look at me, right in the eyes, with the most evil look. I'm not quite sure why but it was scary. I didn't dare take a picture of him either. No one seemed to recognize him besides me which seemed odd.

So time goes by, we drink some more and hang out. Chris, who had wondered off somewhere, shows up again pretty drunk and starts pushing me backwards. I tell him to stop being drunken and all of a sudden he stops. When he stops I mention to him that Bill Maher is somewhere around to which Chris responds, "yeah I just almost pushed you into him, that's why I stopped". As he says this I turn around only to see Bill Maher, who almost dropped his drink because of us, and again he looked at me straight in the eyes this time with an even more evil look. Oh well. Silly college kids.

Eventually all of us are together and sit in one of the corners of the bar. I notice 3 or so people sitting next to us leaving. What intruiged me was the fact they were leaving a half full bottle of Kettle One vodka in an ice bucket, identical glass containers of orange juice, cranberry juice, seltzer water and a bunch of small cups. After they leave I notion to Chuck to check it out. We sieze upon this treasure like a bunch of college kids would. I believe the quote was, "Cheers to rich people leaving, fuck them".

Free Vodka!

Ted, Grace chillin

The upwards view of the hotel from the upstairs bar.

After our time at Maritime we headed to a few other bars. Chris had left with a girl, Mariah, he met a few weeks earlier to go check out this karaoke bar. The plan was to meet up later but I knew that probably wasn't going to happen. Chuck, Juan and I were left with finding a place to sleep. Juan unfortunatly ruined our seemingly best chance of finding a place to sleep but luckily Grace offered her floor. After bars closed at 4am we headed back to Grace's. Those extra two hours the bars are open there really make a difference, awesome. Upon arriving at Grace's place, Jud had a craving for pizza. We explained to him that there were no pizza places around open right now coming close to 5am. He really wanted to go out and find some pizza. After a good 20 minutes he gave up. This extraneous information ties in later.

Saturday
The next morn we awoke at around 10-11am and found some breakfast. I ordered baked ziti. It was delicious. Yeah, it's not a breakfast food but I've never been one to classify foods based on time of day. Chris, who stayed at Mariah's place, met up with us at the restaruant. Once our eating had completed it was time to all go our separate ways. Grace went back home. Juan and I were going with Jud in his car straight to our friend Drew's beach house in Long Beach Island. Chris was driving to a friend's going away party in New Jersey somewhere and Chuck was going to take a train back to philly. It would have worked out nicely except our stuff was in Chris's car on the other side of the city while Jud's car was in Staten Island.

Jud took off to go straight to Battery Park where the ferry takes people to Staten Island. Juan and I had to get our stuff from Chris's car (which was near the Lincoln tunnel) and find our way to Battery Park to meet Jud and get on the ferry. A taxi would have cost us about $11-12 so, feeling cheap, we decided to make our way there using New York public transportation. It was a sweaty adventure. Damn the subways are hot and crowded in New York. Like an smelly oven. To make matters more difficult, the subway we took didn't go directly to Battery Park because of construction or something. We had to get off at an earlier stop and take a free shuttle, which was also extremely crowded. Somehow, we managed to get to Battery Park without really getting lost at all but it took almost an hour. We finally met up with Jud, who had been waiting for almost an hour, and got on the ferry. Fun little free trip. Got to Jud's car on the other side and took off for LBI.

I should have learned from past experiences to bring a cell phone charger with me on these weekend things because with the amount of pictures and normal phone use that occurs, my battery usually dies in one day. I didn't learn and my phone was dead from here out.

Jud, Juan and I arrived at LBI at around 6 or 7pm and, after purchasing some barbeque supplies, we had a nice dinner. Besides Drew, there was Joe, Ian and Christina, all of whom arrived that morning.

That night we went with another friend Tedd to a bar. Good times. There was a pretty good live band there that played a few Led Zeppelin songs. Juan spilled a full beer on his dark jeans but "mentosed" (you know the song..mentose freshness, blah blah, freshness) the problem away somehow by just putting a little water symmetrically. Funny story I had was about a girl at the bar. When I originally walked into the bar I noticed this girl who came in a little after I got my drink. I went back to our table area near the band and again noticed the girl, who kept glancing my way. I continued doing whatever I was doing. Throughout the whole night she kept looking over until eventually she got up and started walking over. She stopped right near our table and leaned against a small barrier facing the band, who were right behind the barrier. I go to the bathroom to pee and when I come back she's still there. At this time I tell Juan that I gotta go talk to this girl but he says he just did and she wasn't interested at all. He didn't have any details though, he just gave up. Not satisfied with Juan's cryptic warnings, considering she had been glancing my way the entire night I was curious what was going on. So I go over and introduce myself. I don't remember the exact conversation.

Me: Hey, whats up?
Girl: Hi, nothing much.
Me: Whats your name?
Girl: Liz.
Me: My name is Ram. Nice to meet you. So where are you from?
Girl: somewhere (i forget what she said)
Me: Cool, so what brings you here?
Girl: Came to see the band. The bassist is my boyfriend.
Me: (putting all the clues together) Aha, ok, yeah..uh, good band, whats their name?
Girl: Franklin Turnpike.
Me: (trailing off) ah, yeah, cool name turnpike.
(Bassist turns his head to me and smiles, I nod to him)

And then I walk off. I realized that the bassist was right near us and the line of sight from where the girl was sitting to the bassist was right about the same as to me. She had just walked over to be closer to him. Oh well, mystery solved. At least this wasn't nearly as bad as what happened to my friend Eric, who spent a good hour or two hitting on this girl only to be told at the last moment that she was married.

So after the bar closes at 2am, Juan, Jud, Drew, and I have to walk a good 30 blocks home since Tedd had left earlier with the rest of the friends. We walk a good 10 seconds before we realize we are hungry and head to a 24 hour wings place called The Chicken and the Egg. The Egg place was packed with our ageish people and seemed like the place to be at this time. Being that I don't eat meat I wasn't expecting to get anything but I noticed they had vegetarian wings so I got them. Not bad. Jud was trashed. After getting his food he decided he would go sit down with a group of girls near us. He came back a few seconds later calling them fat whores quite loudly. He spent the rest of the meal trying to get us to come up with some sort of ultimate insult he could drunkenly say to them before we leave.

Jud: Drew, what's the most insulting thing you can say to someone?
Drew: Want to have sex?

After loud laugh from Juan and I we started thinking. At first I couldn't think of anything good because I don't usually insult people but eventually the wheels started turning it was decided on something like this (I don't remember exactly):

"Hey, look, I'm really sorry I came over earlier and interrupted your meal (pause for effect hope for positive responses) but yeah, sorry, now that I think about it, hah, you girls really aren't attractive at all. I'm not quite sure what I was thinking, beer goggles and such. Oh and you could all probably really benefit to lose a good , oh I don't know, 10-15 pounds each, especially you (point to the bitchiest, possibly go around indicating who needs 10 pounds and who needs 15). So yeah, go easy on those fries there fatty. Have a good night."

It was discussed that this would be best because it brings them to a high point in liking you before you bring them down low. A greater overall change in attitude as it were. Unfortuatly for us, Jud was too drunk to accurately deliver such an insult. If screwed up it would be pretty funny and have the opposite effect. We just left.

It was 3:30am and the streets were empty. Not really wanting to walk 30 some blocks Jud tries to call a taxi. Somehow he got a number for one earlier. He tries and gets the answering machine for the taxi company.

Jud: (really drunken) Hey, this is Jud. We need a taxi so come pick us up. You can either give me a call back or send a cab out to get us. OK, bye.
Me: Jud. Not only do they not know who you are but they don't know where you are OR your phone number.
Jud: Oh..yeah.

Juan then borrows Jud's phone to make a call to Joanne. Minutes later he gives the phone back to Jud as we are walking. We then hear Jud say hes going to try the taxi again:

Jud: (somewhat loudly) Are you a taxi?...Are you a taxi? Your a... a Joanne? Are you a taxi?

I take the phone from him. Jud had just recalled the last number on the phone which was not the taxi company anymore but Joanne.

After walking a good 30-45 minutes to home we got ready for bed. I got into my bed and was almost ready to sleep when I hear Jud knocking on my door telling me to go to the living room. I go out, Juan is on the couch ready for bed.

Jud: Yo! Let's get some pizza! Comon! It's early.
Me: What? Like last night?
Jud: Yeah! Comon!
Me: Uh, Jud, we just ate. Remember? You got wings.
Jud: Yeah whatever, comon, lets get some pizza.
Me: What do you mean exactly when you say "pizza"? I do not think that word means what you think it means.
a few minutes later..
Jud: Alright fine, I'm going to go sleep on the deck.
(takes off his shirt, grabs a blanket then takes a can of "Off" bugspray and quickly sprays it all over himself, including his face)
Jud: (walking away towards deck) Aaack, this stuff tastes terrible. Blah, it says unflavored! Nasty, I can't believe it says unflavored.
Me: (picking up and reading can) Jud. It doesn't say unflavored. It says unscented.

The next day we go to the beach where I put on sunscreen like a retard and get my back a little burned. I'm not usually good with sunscreen.

Birthday Weekend.

2005-08-12T16:32:00.000-04:00

Allright well I gave up on getting another decription of myself from Juan. It was pretty funny though as I heard him telling it.
------------------------------
Allright, so last last weekend (7/30) I went with a group of friends (Chuck,Joanne,Juan,Anna,Chris,Jud) down to Ocean City, Maryland where one of my friends, Chris, had a beach house. The group of us left in two cars at around 9pm on Friday night. After a little over 2 hour drive through some torrential downpours we arrived and unpacked. It was almost midnight but decided to go out and find a place to drink. Chuck called his friend Jerry who was living in Ocean City and we decided to meet up with him at a place called Mother's Cantina. We had to drive there and it meant someone had to be a designated driver. I drew the first straw and unfortunatly lost right away with the short straw. Luckily for me, Joanne graciously decided she would drive.

Upon arriving to the bar we met Jerry and ordered a round of drinks. It was a small place but pretty crowded. We had a good time. I was not too drunk but drunk enough to drink some unknown drink a guy offered me out of some fancy looking glass cup. It was pretty good.

After the bar closed we decided to head to the beach, which was a block away and walk around in the sand a little. It is around 2am so the ocean looks really creepy and dark but of course Chris goes running off throwing his pants and shirt off and jumping into the water. Before I even went to the beach I handed Joanne my phone since I had lost my previous 2 phones to unfortunate water incidents (one in the ocean, other a toilet). Chris comes back and says the water is nice and I decided that it was the right time to jump in. So I got down to my boxers and jumped in. It was really nice. Juan eventually joined in but that was it. There should be a funny picture of us three somewhere. Yep, its pretty good. I'm not going to post it...maybe later.

Saturday
Woke up around 10:30am to go to the beach but it was raining. Sucked. Instead we went out to eat. All of the places we saw had people waiting in line out the door. We finally decided on a place. I ordered some sort of veggy crepe which turned out to just be mostly a hunk of melted cheese with vegetables in it. Still good.

Waiting in line, this woman looked ridiculous in her jumpsuit.

After the filling breakfast we went to a super market to get bbq supplies for later. Headed back to the house where we lounged for a bit until the sky cleared up and we went to the beach. After some beaching it was time for some barbequeing. There was a motor boat at Chris's place that we all really wanted to use but could not since we did not have a boating license. Pathetically we still all got in the boat and just chilled there while it was still docked. After awhile, Chris's neighbor came out and kindly offered his son (who had a boating license) which was all the plausible deniability we needed to take the boat out. It was awesome. Never not go on a boat.

Once it got a little later it was time to party. Jud, after many consecutive days of drinking, decided to go easy this night and drive. 7 of us would barely fit in his station wagon but it worked. Before leaving we drank some and played a few quick drinking games. I declared my birthday goal for the night, which was to throw up. For me, this is quite a feat. I do NOT vomit. Besides one hillarious incident a few years ago, I have not puked in about 10 years. I had drank a few beers and two redbull/vodkas I think before we left (it didn't seem like a lot at the time but I had been drinking beer for the past few hours). We arrived and met Jerry at a place called PartyBlock, which was literally a block of clubs and bars all interconnected. As it was my birthday weekend Jerry kindly got me in for free. I was also happy to see the female bartenders wore some sort of lingerie type hot looking outfits. Inside I ordered a beer and this is where things start going black...

I will skip to the next morning for my first full memory. I wake up sprawled in my bed around 9:30am, still horribly drunk. I notice a glass of water nicely placed besides my bed. I look down and notice I am not wearing my shirt. Not only am I not wearing my shirt, I am wearing someone elses shirt, a red button down. Perplexed, I stumble out of the room into the living room and see Jerry, asleep. Odd, I think to myself. I don't remember Jerry coming home with us last night. After thinking a few more seconds I realize I don't remember ANYTHING from last night. I grab my wallet but cannot find my phone anywhere (found it later in the car). The rest of my friends are up and laugh when they see me in this red shirt. They start talking to me like I had memories of the night before before I tell them I my brain had taken a vacation. This just makes them laugh even more.

Here are some first hand accounts of my missing and possibly drunkest night ever. I was a bit creeped out at what I did/could have done since I was obviously on some sort of primitive autopilot. What is possibly most annoying is that I didn't even throw up. Oh well.

Joanne:

Ram was very, very, very, very, very drunk on Saturday. It was the drunkest I've ever seen him and apparently the drunkest he's ever been since he does not remember the night at all. He fell off of a stool and it made the loudest noise ever created (apparantly it smacked anna in the shin also, whoops, I sorry!), but not too many people looked up because of the music. There were girls dancing on the bar and at one point I looked up and Ram was just standing there staring at them while they danced. Juan claims that Ram was rubbing this one girl's leg while she danced, but I did not see it and thus can't verify that. There is a 15-30 minute span of Ram's life that is permanently lost because no one knew where he was and he has no idea where he was. I like to believe that he was helping the less fortunate during that time and not peeing on his shoes or something.

The best part of the night was when Ram decided he didn't want to wear his shirt anymore because it had a stain on it. So, he took it off in the middle of a pizza place. He was standing in front of me in line, took off his shirt, got yelled at by some dudes behind me and then left. I told the guys who were yelling at him to leave him alone because he was just drunk. They asked me if I knew him. I said no.

Later we were sitting on the curb eating pizza, although I think Ram must have found some pizza in a trash can because he definitely didn't buy any, and there was some dudes pretending to break dance. I think Ram went over and told them to not fight because everyone was his friend.

Ram is a true champion because he did not vomit and he made it home safely despite the fact that his legs did not work very well.

I took this on the way home I think, Chuck is wearing my shirt at this time.

Yeah so I didn't vomit and here is the only photographic evidence I existed that night.
I wonder who took this picture.

Slacking.

2005-08-11T11:40:00.000-04:00

Alright I'm slacking, bah. Leave me be. Motivation will come.

Whoops.

2005-08-07T21:29:00.000-04:00

Darn, these weekends are piling up. I still havn't finished last weekend's post and I now have a new weekend to do. This one involves Billy Baldwin, New York City, and somehow getting on the bad side of Bill Maher.

Bedtime Rant.

2005-08-05T00:22:00.000-04:00

I dislike how people say everything happens for a reason. Fate is bullshit. It is simply a comfort for those too afraid to realize life can be crappy for no particular reason, possibly forever. If you are one of those people, sorry man, that sucks. There is only now and what you make of it. Even though I don't believe in fate and people's false grasps for reason, I do believe in the "ignorance is bliss" principle so people should just continue doing whatever makes them feel best. I've unfortunatly already lost a good chunk of ignorance myself but I still got some left.

I don't really like ranting on my blog since I originally made this thing to hold my memories and the fact that ranting seems so sterotypical but eh.

Weeknights.

2005-08-04T11:52:00.000-04:00

Last night went to a strip club with a bunch of people for Chuck's birthday. Good times. The one memorable moment I had involved me getting a lap dance. The stripper was almost overly nice and I happened to blurt out, "You are really nice....for a stripper." I'm not sure why I added that last stripper part, might have been because of the dead look in her eyes or possibly because I was staring at her breasts. After I realized what I said and how that might be taken as insulting, I laughed to myself. She gave me a weird look but was cracked out on something so I'm not sure if she heard/understood me. Also memorable was the seemingly unexpected lap dance Anna had. That was nice.

Bored.

2005-08-03T14:35:00.000-04:00

I had an urge today to fill out info about myself on thefacebook or actually start putting people on my friends list. I fought it. As of now I don't have any info about myself and the friends I have listed are only friends who happened to invite me first. Maybe someday I will go all out and get it over with. Creepy ass facebook.

Artichoke Spinach Dip

2005-08-03T11:21:00.000-04:00

Been held up on posting the weekend story but hopefully should get posted today. Anyway, on a different topic, I am an expert on artichoke spinach dip. Weird thing to be an expert in but I have tried it pretty much at every restaurant I've been to. If you want to know which one's the best it depends on what your looking for. If you want a more salty taste the dip at Ruby Tuesdays or TGI Fridays is pretty good (Fridays gives you 4 large pieces of garlic bread or something to dip as well as chips). More creamy would have to be a place called Ram's Head (yeah...i know...awesome). Ram's Head also serves the dip in a bread bowl which is cool. On my birthday I went to Magianno's (see below) and got it there. Not bad but very stringy (because it was obviously made fresh). Overall, I think the best dip comes from Olive Garden, possibly because you eat the dip with toasted little pieces of bread instead of chips. It's not too salty or creamy or stringy. Olive Garden also happens to be the first place I had artichoke spinach dip.

For worst places to eat dip it would have to be a tie between a few restaurants. This is because they all use the same type of dip. Must be the cheap kind. A place called the Spaghetti Warehouse is one of them. It's not overly bad tasting but has a weird aftertaste (probably because of the food die or preservatives...or in Spaghetti Warehouse's case...added bacon juice). The dip is also similar to the TGIF frozen dip you can buy at the supermarket (which is the nastiest of them all but doesn't really count since it's at a supermarket).

Yep...so...uh..yeah...artichoke spinach dip is good. Carry on.

Birthday Dinner.

2005-07-27T17:20:00.000-04:00

Went out to Maggiano's Little Italy restaraunt in Philly with my parents. Had an interesting time. First of all, my mom mentionted to every person that walked near us that it was my birthday. The mexican bus boy who was filling our water could not have been less impressed. He might not have understood english because he sat there with a confused look on his face as if he didn't quite know what to do. It was amusing. So, after some delicious artichoke spinach dip and other appetizers we ordered our main meals. My dad ordered some garlic mashed potatoes with his. When our food came out my dad started eating some mashed potatoes and said they were really good. I asked for some potatoes and my mom started scooping some onto a plate. My mom then says theres something hard in the mashed potatoes. I think its probably a potato piece or something but my mom continues to say that its metal. I tell her to scoop it out and she plops this large hunk of metal onto the plate. After clearing away some mashed potatoes I notice it looks a lot like a hose nozzle. I quickly snap a picture of it before my mom calls the waitress, who quickly grabbed the potatoes and nozzle and went into the kitchen. A few moments later the manager comes out and appologizes profusely; explaining that they make a lot of mashed potatoes at once and a piece of one of the machines broke off. He then asked who was eating the potatoes and we all said we were. After staring at the manager in silence (I could tell he didn't want to give us all a free meal if he didn't have to) he broke down and said our meal would be free. HA! Turned out to be a $60 meal between the 3 of us. After the manager left the cook came out and appologized, followed by the waitress, who gave my dad a salad for some reason. Everyone was much nicer after that.

On a side note, I find it almost ridiculous that resaraunts are forced to give out free meals for stuff like that. Granted, metal hose nozzles don't belong in food but it really wasn't that bad. The rest of the food was great. Suckers.

The nozzle is that chunk to the left top corner of the square.
The mashed potato bowl are seen on the far left

My birthday.

2005-07-26T01:27:00.000-04:00

Today is also the day of launch for the space shuttle Discovery after a 2 year hietus. I hope it doesn't crash today and ruin the date today for years to come.

Great. 1 in 100 odds. I don't like it at all.

Long ass day.

2005-07-25T23:54:00.000-04:00

My lazy long day.

7:30am: Wake up in a groggy haze, trip over shoes, pee on self.
7:50am: Get backpack, shoes, put on clothes, walk out door towards Post Office on 29th Market Street.
8:05am: Walk in post office to pick up textbook left by UPS guy for a test in the course at 9:00am. Of course I put it off until the morning of the test when I could have picked it up anytime last week.
8:07am: Wait in line. Fall asleep on counter.
8:10am: Get poked by old guy waiting behind me. My turn. I get the book.
8:15am: Walk through 30th street station looking for food. Taco bell is closed until 10am..damnit.
8:30am: Go back to campus and get a bagel toasted with cream cheese from food cart. When I say toasted I really mean fried in grease. Delicious.
8:40am: Buy diet coke by accident. Head to class and sit down, study book. Eat bagel.
9:00am: Take test. Perfect score. woo woo.
11:00am: Go back to appartment, watch tivo. Complement tivo for being so cool. Post on blog. Eat forkfull of penut butter.
12:55pm: Walk to class again. Learn how Michael Dell dropped out of college and became billionaire. Get ideas.
2:00pm: Go back to appartment. Eat handfull of Total cereal; shreded cheese.
2:55pm: Arrive downstairs for class. Learn about Monte Carlo methods. Ponder about using it to cheat at blackjack somehow.
4:00pm: Stroll to 7-11 to buy a Red Bull to awaken me for midterm at 6:00pm. Bought the sugar free kind. Never drank/bought a Red Bull without vodka. Tasted like carbonated vomit.
4:20pm: Walk to library to look at textbook before test (didn't buy this one). Borrow it and sit down, go through 5 chapters memorizing all the keywords.
5:40pm: Finish looking at book, go to class and sit until 6:00pm.
6:00pm: Take test.
6:20pm: Finish test. Wander home until people finish test and class resumes at 7:15pm.
6:25pm: Offer bum semi used napkin after he asks for money (I didn't have anything). Cover kidneys to prevent stabbing.
6:30pm: Watch tivo. Eat another forkfull of penut butter; hot dog.
7:15pm: Go back to class, watch boring video about "American Justice"...murder and whatever.
9:00pm: Class ends, meet with group in classroom for presentation tomorrow. Little gets done. I play with microphone, pretending to be god.
11:30pm: Finish meeting, head home. Drink gingerale and gin. Tonic was sold out.
12:00am: Get instant message saying "happy birthday", I had actually forgotten.
1:10am: Write boring blog post about what I did today. Brush teeth, go to bed for class at 9:30am hoping someone did the homework for another group project.

Fun.

2005-07-25T12:30:00.000-04:00

Here is a fun game I came across. Interesting idea.
http://www.onemorelevel.com/games/avoider.html

Also interesting I guess is http://www.aimfight.com
Actually uses real time AIM information from AOL to calculate your "popularity". I know one person who is actually in the top %5.

Reread.

2005-07-24T15:04:00.000-04:00

I was looking through older posts to the blog. I've been scribbling notes for almost 8 months now and I had already forgotten some of the stuff I wrote. Rereading some of the posts made me laugh. I'm funny. I also noticed some spelling mistakes that I didn't remember being there before.

Weekend.

2005-07-24T14:26:00.000-04:00

Overall, this weekend was pretty boring. The majority of people I know were away somewhere or had something else to do that didn't involve me. I wish I could be content doing nothing, it's much easier. I had a feeling something cool was going to happen this weekend too, oh well. Maybe next weekend.

Oh, my birthday is coming up tuesday, July 26th bitches. Right during midterm week. Awesome. I feel old.

Books again.

2005-07-23T16:19:00.000-04:00

I almost bought a book today. There was one called "Fraud and Education", I think was the title. It was about how much cheating goes on in our society. Something like 80% of students in the top of their class cheat to get there. Ah, so true. It was 11$ though which I could not convince myself to spend.

On another note, I found a funny picture of myself from a party I went to a year or two ago. Hmm, this might be the first picture I have posted of myself. Seems kind of creepy. Oh well, if you would like to stalk me that would be super. Women only. No fat chicks.

Pimpin is hard.

Hah toothbrush.

2005-07-22T21:43:00.000-04:00

This is my roomates toothbrush. Funny that he didn't think anything was wrong with it. He said this wasn't even as bad as some of his previous ones. After laughing at how destroyed it was he purchased a new one.

Idea of the Day.

2005-07-22T17:09:00.000-04:00

Just had it right now while cutting my fingernails. How annoying is it cutting your nails when the cut nail shoots out of the nail cutter in some random direction? Very annoying I say. Also annoying is how you have to cut your nails over a trashcan or something to collect the ones that do just fall straight down. The idea would just be normal nail cutters with some sort of guard on each side preventing the nail from flying around, also creating a hollow space inside the clipper. As long as you hold the clippers somewhat sideways the guard could also hold catch all your nail clippings and hold them until your done (they would fall to the back of the clipper), eliminating the need to do it directly over a trashcan.

My Diet.

2005-07-21T11:34:00.000-04:00

This post is more for when, in the future, I look back upon my college life and laugh. I no longer drink anything but alcohol or water. No more empty caloric soda, sugary fruit juice or anything. Just water. This super healthy diet is balanced out by the excessive amounts of beer and alcohol I consume. Seems to work fine, I like water (although I do not buy bottled water based on principle). Avoiding buying soda and fruit juice also saves some money (which probably gets used for alcohol).

Of course I drink milk every now and then when some comes my way but I'm not a huge fan of milk either; absent of cereal, that is.

Also, last night someone gave me a energy drink called "XS". It had about %5000 of my daily requirement of vitamin B-12...and thats about it. Being a vegetarian I hear I don't get enough B-12 in my diet. Considering I have been a vegetarian for my entire life and not really once concerned myself with obtaining B-12, I seem pretty healthy. But whatever, I decided to make up for some possible deficiency with a heaping dose of health. Although I knew from a nutrition class I took that there is only a certain amount of a nutrient the body can absorb before throwing the rest away and an overdose of a nutrient can actually inhibit the absorption of said nutrient, I drank it. About 20 minutes later I felt a bit odd, jittery and hyper. I was also very hungry. Crazy medical science and their potions.

Trivia.

2005-07-21T11:04:00.000-04:00

Last night at bar trivia my team "Macgyver" almost won a prize. 45 points. One point away from winning something. We came in 4th place (First place had 48 I think). Disappointing. Quite a lot of teams too. Someday...

On the way back we saw a bike cop holding a 14 year old kid by the shirt and 3 bikes piled on top of eachother on the side of the street. Two cop cars pulled up and cops got out. As we walked by the kid we heard him explaining to the cop, "I just saw the bike laying there so I thought no one wanted it". Haha, lame.

Phone Messages.

2005-07-20T14:20:00.000-04:00

While I was thinking about werid shit I do or notice (see below) I remembered that I had a somewhat large piece of a group project due tomorrow. I contacted a few group members but one of the members was not around and all I got was an answering machine. I instinctively hung up the phone.

With the thought of the weird shit I do fresh in my mind I reflected upon how I hate to leave voice messages, even though it would probably be helpful instead of calling back multiple times. I have told people before that I do not leave voicemail and most of them find it odd. It is kind of odd. It is almost hypocritical since I love it when I am in class unable to take phonecalls and the person who called leaves a message. I have nothing really against leaving voicemail, especially when absolutely necessary. I just don't usually pay much attention once I realize someone isn't there so my voicemail messages always end up sounding dumb and ridiculous...

Machine: Leave a message, bitch. BEEP.
Me: Umm, right...yeah I am going to eat that...stop it..I just said..no I don't hate mexicans..oh crap i think it beeped.
(clearing throat)
Me: hey there , this is Ram. ummmm yeah so were going to go meet in that place at around 6. Ram..from that class we are in..have that group thing to do....mumble. So, give me a call about that thing and we can discuss it or something...oh yeah the place were meeting is the library, ok see ya.

Anyway, back to real life. After hanging up I on the answering machine I decided what the hell and called back, left a voicemail. It actually was fine. I think most machines let you re-record messages if you don't like how the first one turned out?

Now that I think more about it. I don't particuarly like talking on the telephone in general because I usually run out of things to say pretty fast and do not actively think of new things to say. Ending the conversation is also difficult for me. I also have a weird habbit of walking around or back and forth while talking on the telephone which some people have made fun of me for. Not sure what that is about, I just do it.

I bet from reading through this entire blog some psychologist could accurately get a good understanding of me and all my peculiarities. Oh, this is not an invitation.

So Trivial.

2005-07-20T13:56:00.000-04:00

Today during a class I was filling out one of those dumb scantron multiple choice sheets and I accidently filled two bubbles in the same row (you can tell how much I cared). I noticed the mistake so I erased one of them. What was interesting to me was how much I erased the pencil mark. Usually when erasing something you can tell it's been erased, a little smudge of graphite or whatever. The simply normal (not hard or anything) erasing I did completely wiped all traces a mark had ever existed there. It suprised me enough that I noticed (again, you can tell how much I cared for what I was doing at the time).

My life can be boring sometimes but luckily I can still entertain myself on the frivolous.

Harry Potter.

2005-07-20T12:41:00.000-04:00

Update:
Reading is awesome because it takes awhile. I finished the book though. Very good book, sad ending although I had guessed as much. Now I just really want to read the next book. I hate that.

Oh well, no more reading for a year or two. Too bad. Although I might try some of the books recommended to me sometime.

----------------7/17/05------------------
It's an awesome book. Surpsingly, unlike most movies, never a let down with this series. F you harry potter nay sayers...sitting in your towers...cockasses.

Public Speaking.

2005-07-19T15:43:00.000-04:00

Today I did a presentation on "Fun things to do in a microwave". Much of it taken from this website. It was a pain lugging that microwave to class. I actually made the grape plasma though....and smoke...which is was why I wanted to go last.

Stupid.

2005-07-17T23:56:00.000-04:00

Diet Pepsi contains 0 caleries and is advertised to "taste like normal pepsi". Pepsi One has 1 calerie and is advertisted to "taste like normal pepsi". Enough said.

Speed.

2005-07-15T14:05:00.000-04:00

I was having a discussion about how in most television series there is at least one episode dealing with drugs, particuarly speed. Family Ties, Fresh Prince, Full House...the list is pretty long. That discussion happened during the bar trivia night where we also named our trivia team Macgyver. Funny thing was the next day I was watching Macgyver and it was the speed episode. Culmination, awesome.

Don't hate me.

2005-07-14T00:29:00.000-04:00

So, two things. First of all, I won't give all the details because I don't think I want my full name arriving on the internet attached to this blog yet where it will be stored for all time. But I went to a bar trivia tonight where one of the questions happened to be what people of a certain religion, of which I was named after, have as their last name. I wrote it down (as it is my last name) and it turned out to wrong. I thought my life had been a lie. I don't follow the religion but I thought I had some very basic things down. Turns out the guy was wrong in that the name he was thinking of could be a middle or last name. So my life is not a complete lie. People I was with laughed heartily at me at the time.

Second of all, I had to visit a school lab today to use a scanner for scanning a take home exam that had to be submitted over the internet. I turned on a computer and scanned in the pages. Upon going to gmail to send the pictures to myself I find that the last user of the computer accidently forgot to log out of gmail. His mailbox was completely open to me. Turns out my friend recognized the name of the owner as a homosexual guy a year below him. Not wanting to lose an oppourtunity to have a good story I decided to browse through a few of his current inbox messages. Yeah, I know, it's not very ethical of me but I wouldn't do anything bad about it. It will have no effect on him at all, ever. It seemed like he used his email a lot and he apparantly used it for many different purposes...including hooking up with other guys. About the second email I looked at disturbed me so much I had to copy a brief part of the conversation and email it to myself through a generic hotmail account. I'm not going to post the conversation because that might give something away. Let me just say, gmail groups emails into conversations and there were about 5 emails in this conversation...and pictures were present. Disturbing. I logged him off after that second email and thats that. HAH. Don't hate me. I'm a good guy.

Oh wait, third thing. Walking home from trivia we saw this bum squatting in the middle of the sidewalk ahead looking shady. Of course I quietly snap a picture of him (turned out to be very crappy) right about the time he looks over. As I get closer I notice that it looks like hes jerking off or something but most of his back is facing me. He continued for a few more seconds and then stood up and walked past us staring at us..even when he was behind us. I feared he might stab me in the kidney but it was unfounded.

Shady jerk bum.

I need business cards.

2005-07-13T00:29:00.000-04:00

I could use some business cards. They can be simple, with just my name, number, and maybe email or im...maybe a title or saying like "professional adventurer" or something less gay. I could give them out to people I meet as well as enter in contests to win free lunches. The lunches thing is what made me think about it. Any info about possible titles or ways to get some free cards are welcome. I'm thinking about the free card offer from this one but they dont give you a lot of options, especially for spacing since I am not going to have much on the thing. It's free because they put their logo on the back of the card which isn't that bad.

Books.

2005-07-11T14:09:00.000-04:00

I have something against books. I really dislike reading them. This is unfortunate because I would like to enjoy reading. (Enjoying reading and enjoying running would be the top 2 things I would like to do but I hate) People seem to have a lot of fun and get a lot of knowledge from reading and I think I'm missing out. Television is to blame I think (as well as grade school books [Hard Times was hard times..haha, never gets old]), it's hard for me to focus. Funny thing is I actually read more than most people thanks to the internet. My hatred of books is compounded by school textbooks, which, along with the ridiculous amount of money they cost and lack of use, is the reason I don't buy books for my courses. I find it a challenge to do well in a course without ever buying the textbook. I find that often textbooks are not needed at all (unless the homework is directly from the book and you don't feel like borrowing things a lot).

Anyway, there is a reason to this rant. There is a glaring exception to my hatred of books which is why I know reading can be fun. The only books I have really ever enjoyed reading are the Harry Potter books. The next one is coming out on Saturday and I'm as giddy as a dog watching a cat watching a pigeon watching a fat kid eat popcorn. Combined.

If anyone knows any entertaining books that are good for the reading impaired such as myself leave a comment or just tell me. I am interested in all sorts of intelligent things and probably won't want to read a kid book. Oh, screw you if you don't like Harry Potter. You die and go to hell and then die again.

Lazy sunday.

2005-07-10T19:58:00.000-04:00

I should do laundry but instead I will let the large pile of my clothes grow larger.
I should call some people and hang out but instead I will play some guitar (poorly).
I should get outside and walk to Qdoba but instead I will make a snack.
I should study for a test tomorrow morning but instead I will watch tv.
I should go to the grocery store but instead I will live off of Total cereal and pasta another day longer.
I should take a shower but instead I will make this post.
I should get motivated but instead I will probably just take a nap.
I should have done a lot of things today but I won't...although the day is not over.

Lazy saturday.

2005-07-09T18:15:00.000-04:00

Woke up today on my friend's couch. I drank way too much at a party last night and was actually a bit scared of walking home at 3:30am. Shut up. It takes about 15 minutes to walk from the house and drexel was spookily empty that night. I could barely walk also. Anyway, got home around 11am and noticed I had made a call at a little after midnight last night. Even sloppy drunk I don't do drunk dialings plus I didn't recognize the number dialed. I don't remember calling anyone so it is a mystery...although there was a brief period of time last night where I put my phone down I think. I'm not sure where I am going with this story because I didn't recall the number so there's not much more to...hmm hold on...ok, well, mystery solved. I called the number. Now I could make up a good somewhat entertaining conclusion to this story but that's not really fair and it would require more than shallow brain activity on my part. So blah, whatever, turns out me or someone accidently dialed some numbers and hit the call button during that time when I had my phone out. It was an invalid number. Exciting.

Fine, I'll make up a better ending. So it turns out the number called from my phone was this drug dealer named Killroy who said I was supposed to deliver this shipment of cocaine to the docks by tonight. I told him there must have been some mistake but he knew my name and where I lived! He threatened me! Shit, well, he did say I would get paid so all right. I guess whoever called on my phone must have known me. Must have been my arch nemesis...Phil. Damn you Phil! Damn you.

While writing that delicious piece of fiction above I was reminded of an actual true story. A year or two ago, a few months after I got my new phone number I started getting these weird calls and messages on my voicemail. Apparantly, my number was close to or previously owned by a drug dealer. I had a few hillarious voicemail messages of totally cracked out people mumbling things about dimes and nicks of things. Too bad I still don't have them.

Time.

2005-07-08T16:52:00.000-04:00

Time always comes. Time just rolls over things without a care. No matter how frustrating or stressful something can be, realizing that it will be over just like anything else is comforting. Taking this a step further; imagine all the other people out there totally oblivious to your seemingly frustrating or stressful moments. Unfortunatly, the same thing applies for good enjoyable times.

In other news, ignorance really is bliss but only to the ignorant. Hmm does that make sense? Nope. Oh well, words suck anyway.

Yours Truly,
Captain Obvious

(this is what happens when the "create post" screen is left on your computer too long and bits of crazyness set in)

Cool Commercial.

2005-07-07T22:57:00.000-04:00

Pretty amazing.

Wedding Crashers.

2005-07-07T21:54:00.000-04:00

Went to a free sneak preview at the Ritz tonight with my roomate. It was hillarious. Much better than I thought it would be. Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson are great.

We took a taxi to the theater and it actually ended up costing us about the same it would have if we were to walk to a theater and buy tickets to a movie.

Well.

2005-07-06T23:42:00.000-04:00

I'm trying to think of some novel business to start since I seem to have free time that's going to waste. Anyone have any ideas? It would have to be novel since I can only work according to my schedule because I still have school which is..umm, important or something. I read this article and was reminded how I have always thought that would be a good idea. I am intruiged by peoples demand for fake things.