Public Speaking.

I'm taking a required public speaking course and today was the first presentation. While I was sitting in class the teacher asked if there were any volunteers to go first. When she asked, she made obvious winking motions and I wondered if that meant there was some sort of special bonus for volunteering to do the first presentation of the term. If I was a teacher I would be really sneaky and play all sorts of mind games with the students; giving the person who volunteered to go first an automatic A and such. I really didn't want to go first because I needed to see what the standard was but I said fuck it and raised my hand. I didn't really practice my informative speech on Instant Messanger programs and features beforehand so this would be it.

It was probably quite a hillarious sight. I walked up to the front not knowing where to go and slowly screeched the table back to the blackboard. I then changed my mind because I wanted to have my outline in front of me so I slowly screeched the table out again. I then stood there looking dumb. I wore my "Ram This" shirt to distract the teacher. She saw it and made some comment that I've heard a bazillion times like "hey,Ram This, haha that's like your name or something!". I just say "just stare at the shirt please" hoping she would then be distracted from my upcoming speech. I then started to begin but remembered I forgot to take out my phone to make sure I went and stayed at a 5 minute speech. I reached into my pocket but couldn't find my phone. I knew I had it when I was walking to class so I got worried.

Me: "Uhh hold on a second I need my timepiece."
Me: "Hmm it's not here...uhhh hold on...wait have you started timing me already?"
Teacher (holding up hand with 5 fingers): "yeah, uh oh, don't worry someone has a watch"
Me: "uh oh"

Some kid hands me an analog watch without numbers that I can't read or even tell which way is up.

Me: "I'm more worried I lost my phone...well anyway...uh right...oh yeah my name is Ram..."

I then continue with my presentation totally oblivious to time and space. I probably look nervous but I get in a zone when it comes down to it. I speak much better when I'm forced. I look down at the watch, still unable to read it, and think it might have moved some and decide it might be around 5 minutes. Afraid of going over I skip some stuff and do a conclusion. I remember using the word ubiquitous but not much else. I also remember trying not to fidgit or say uhh too much but I probably did.

It ended up being about 4 and a half minutes which I'm not sure is good or not. After I'm done I see my phone hidden on my desk under a paper, announce to the class I found my phone and sit down deciding I need to losen some tension. By this I mean say something ridiculous. The second presenter was a girl who opened with a question.. "Why are there so little girls in computer science?" A person answers first and I then raise my hand.

Me: "Because girls aren't smart."
(laughter and I think a gasp from somewhere)
Teacher (who is a woman): "Hah, you do know that I control your grade."
Me: "I already presented, my grade is written. Don't touch that grade sheet!"

I think (hope) she understands jokes.