First of all, New York city is awesome. Makes Philly look crappy as it is huge and there is always something to do (until 4am when bars close!) This is a long story and I might get rambly. It must be recorded though for future references as to what I did with my life..since I will not remember this too well soon.
Ok. So here is what happened approximately a week ago (8/5). I get out of class and make plans for the night to see a movie (
My date with drew) and then hit up some old cityish places. Juan is brainwashed by anything he hears on the radio and the radio told him to see the movie. Before the movie I decide to go to Roosevelts for happy hour with a friend. I arrive and subsequently get pretty tipsy. I walk back to the appartment to find Juan and Chris who tell me, "your going to new york". It was Jud's birthday and he was going to New York to visit his twin sister for birthday fun. Following my basic rules of life (never say no to anything that could be adventure) I drunkenly pack up a backpack full of clothes and we head out. Chuck also joins us. With nowhere to sleep we decide the goal of the night is to find some random people and sleep at their place.
Once in New York we leave the car at a parking lot for the night. We also leave all of our stuff (besides waterbottles full of vodka and whiskey [it was going to be an expensive night so might as well get a cheap start]). Unable to drink straight warm vodka (as juan found out when he forgot it wasnt water) we walk around and find a deli type store where we buy some tonic. We then get a few cups and begin mixing our drinks right there at the table. It must have looked pretty obvious. Still tasted warm and nasty. After finding out where Grace and Jud were we head to their location via cab, a bar called Maritime. I later realize that its a bar attached to a hotel called Maritime.
Saw this sweet hydraulic car on the way Upon arriving at the Maritime place we quickly discover although there is no cover, drinks are very expensive ($8 beer is the cheapest). Grace, Jud, highschool friend Ted, and some of their friends are already there sitting down.
They mention that
Billy Baldwin was in line behind them when they were coming in. I'm always curious about B-celebrities so this peaked my interest. Later in the eve I'm walking around and sure enough I see Billy Baldwin drunkenly trying to hit on 3 middle age women. He can barely hold his shot glass up. I really want to take a picture but realized that if he saw me trying to take his picture that was a sure punch in the face. I feebly tried the old 'pretend to talk on the phone while taking a picture as I walked by' but it didn't turn out. Didn't feel like putting any more effort into it after that.
He is the one with the white shirt to the right. The Maritime is a cool place and became even cooler when I learned there was an upstairs area. It was funny in that there were two ways to get to the upstairs area. On each opposite side of the larger downstairs area. One of the stairs had a long line of people waiting, so much so that the bouncer wasn't letting anymore people in. The other staircase had no line at all and the bouncer was letting people in freely. Suckers. As I was going up the stairs I happened to look at the walking guy in front of me. At the glance I got of him I instantly recognized him as
Bill Maher (of politically incorrect for those who don't know). I told Juan, who was with me, that I think I saw Bill Maher ahead of me but he was skeptical. At the upstairs area we went to the bar to get a drink and, sure enough, there was Bill Maher getting a drink. Juan acknowledged that it was indeed him and right about that time Bill Maher happened to look at me, right in the eyes, with the most evil look. I'm not quite sure why but it was scary. I didn't dare take a picture of him either. No one seemed to recognize him besides me which seemed odd.
So time goes by, we drink some more and hang out. Chris, who had wondered off somewhere, shows up again pretty drunk and starts pushing me backwards. I tell him to stop being drunken and all of a sudden he stops. When he stops I mention to him that Bill Maher is somewhere around to which Chris responds, "yeah I just almost pushed you into him, that's why I stopped". As he says this I turn around only to see Bill Maher, who almost dropped his drink because of us, and again he looked at me straight in the eyes this time with an even more evil look. Oh well. Silly college kids.
Eventually all of us are together and sit in one of the corners of the bar. I notice 3 or so people sitting next to us leaving. What intruiged me was the fact they were leaving a half full bottle of Kettle One vodka in an ice bucket, identical glass containers of orange juice, cranberry juice, seltzer water and a bunch of small cups. After they leave I notion to Chuck to check it out. We sieze upon this treasure like a bunch of college kids would. I believe the quote was, "Cheers to rich people leaving, fuck them".
Free Vodka!
Ted, Grace chillin
The upwards view of the hotel from the upstairs bar.
After our time at Maritime we headed to a few other bars. Chris had left with a girl, Mariah, he met a few weeks earlier to go check out this karaoke bar. The plan was to meet up later but I knew that probably wasn't going to happen. Chuck, Juan and I were left with finding a place to sleep. Juan unfortunatly ruined our seemingly best chance of finding a place to sleep but luckily Grace offered her floor. After bars closed at 4am we headed back to Grace's. Those extra two hours the bars are open there really make a difference, awesome. Upon arriving at Grace's place, Jud had a craving for pizza. We explained to him that there were no pizza places around open right now coming close to 5am. He really wanted to go out and find some pizza. After a good 20 minutes he gave up. This extraneous information ties in later.
Saturday
The next morn we awoke at around 10-11am and found some breakfast. I ordered baked ziti. It was delicious. Yeah, it's not a breakfast food but I've never been one to classify foods based on time of day. Chris, who stayed at Mariah's place, met up with us at the restaruant. Once our eating had completed it was time to all go our separate ways. Grace went back home. Juan and I were going with Jud in his car straight to our friend Drew's beach house in Long Beach Island. Chris was driving to a friend's going away party in New Jersey somewhere and Chuck was going to take a train back to philly. It would have worked out nicely except our stuff was in Chris's car on the other side of the city while Jud's car was in Staten Island.
Jud took off to go straight to Battery Park where the ferry takes people to Staten Island. Juan and I had to get our stuff from Chris's car (which was near the Lincoln tunnel) and find our way to Battery Park to meet Jud and get on the ferry. A taxi would have cost us about $11-12 so, feeling cheap, we decided to make our way there using New York public transportation. It was a sweaty adventure. Damn the subways are hot and crowded in New York. Like an smelly oven. To make matters more difficult, the subway we took didn't go directly to Battery Park because of construction or something. We had to get off at an earlier stop and take a free shuttle, which was also extremely crowded. Somehow, we managed to get to Battery Park without really getting lost at all but it took almost an hour. We finally met up with Jud, who had been waiting for almost an hour, and got on the ferry. Fun little free trip. Got to Jud's car on the other side and took off for LBI.
I should have learned from past experiences to bring a cell phone charger with me on these weekend things because with the amount of pictures and normal phone use that occurs, my battery usually dies in one day. I didn't learn and my phone was dead from here out.
Jud, Juan and I arrived at LBI at around 6 or 7pm and, after purchasing some barbeque supplies, we had a nice dinner. Besides Drew, there was Joe, Ian and Christina, all of whom arrived that morning.
That night we went with another friend Tedd to a bar. Good times. There was a pretty good live band there that played a few Led Zeppelin songs. Juan spilled a full beer on his dark jeans but "mentosed" (you know the song..mentose freshness, blah blah, freshness) the problem away somehow by just putting a little water symmetrically. Funny story I had was about a girl at the bar. When I originally walked into the bar I noticed this girl who came in a little after I got my drink. I went back to our table area near the band and again noticed the girl, who kept glancing my way. I continued doing whatever I was doing. Throughout the whole night she kept looking over until eventually she got up and started walking over. She stopped right near our table and leaned against a small barrier facing the band, who were right behind the barrier. I go to the bathroom to pee and when I come back she's still there. At this time I tell Juan that I gotta go talk to this girl but he says he just did and she wasn't interested at all. He didn't have any details though, he just gave up. Not satisfied with Juan's cryptic warnings, considering she had been glancing my way the entire night I was curious what was going on. So I go over and introduce myself. I don't remember the exact conversation.
Me: Hey, whats up?
Girl: Hi, nothing much.
Me: Whats your name?
Girl: Liz.
Me: My name is Ram. Nice to meet you. So where are you from?
Girl: somewhere (i forget what she said)
Me: Cool, so what brings you here?
Girl: Came to see the band. The bassist is my boyfriend.
Me: (putting all the clues together) Aha, ok, yeah..uh, good band, whats their name?
Girl: Franklin Turnpike.
Me: (trailing off) ah, yeah, cool name turnpike.
(Bassist turns his head to me and smiles, I nod to him)
And then I walk off. I realized that the bassist was right near us and the line of sight from where the girl was sitting to the bassist was right about the same as to me. She had just walked over to be closer to him. Oh well, mystery solved. At least this wasn't nearly as bad as what happened to my friend Eric, who spent a good hour or two hitting on this girl only to be told at the last moment that she was married.
So after the bar closes at 2am, Juan, Jud, Drew, and I have to walk a good 30 blocks home since Tedd had left earlier with the rest of the friends. We walk a good 10 seconds before we realize we are hungry and head to a 24 hour wings place called The Chicken and the Egg. The Egg place was packed with our ageish people and seemed like the place to be at this time. Being that I don't eat meat I wasn't expecting to get anything but I noticed they had vegetarian wings so I got them. Not bad. Jud was trashed. After getting his food he decided he would go sit down with a group of girls near us. He came back a few seconds later calling them fat whores quite loudly. He spent the rest of the meal trying to get us to come up with some sort of ultimate insult he could drunkenly say to them before we leave.
Jud: Drew, what's the most insulting thing you can say to someone?
Drew: Want to have sex?
After loud laugh from Juan and I we started thinking. At first I couldn't think of anything good because I don't usually insult people but eventually the wheels started turning it was decided on something like this (I don't remember exactly):
"Hey, look, I'm really sorry I came over earlier and interrupted your meal (pause for effect hope for positive responses) but yeah, sorry, now that I think about it, hah, you girls really aren't attractive at all. I'm not quite sure what I was thinking, beer goggles and such. Oh and you could all probably really benefit to lose a good , oh I don't know, 10-15 pounds each, especially you (point to the bitchiest, possibly go around indicating who needs 10 pounds and who needs 15). So yeah, go easy on those fries there fatty. Have a good night."
It was discussed that this would be best because it brings them to a high point in liking you before you bring them down low. A greater overall change in attitude as it were. Unfortuatly for us, Jud was too drunk to accurately deliver such an insult. If screwed up it would be pretty funny and have the opposite effect. We just left.
It was 3:30am and the streets were empty. Not really wanting to walk 30 some blocks Jud tries to call a taxi. Somehow he got a number for one earlier. He tries and gets the answering machine for the taxi company.
Jud: (really drunken) Hey, this is Jud. We need a taxi so come pick us up. You can either give me a call back or send a cab out to get us. OK, bye.
Me: Jud. Not only do they not know who you are but they don't know where you are OR your phone number.
Jud: Oh..yeah.
Juan then borrows Jud's phone to make a call to Joanne. Minutes later he gives the phone back to Jud as we are walking. We then hear Jud say hes going to try the taxi again:
Jud: (somewhat loudly) Are you a taxi?...Are you a taxi? Your a... a Joanne? Are you a taxi?
I take the phone from him. Jud had just recalled the last number on the phone which was not the taxi company anymore but Joanne.
After walking a good 30-45 minutes to home we got ready for bed. I got into my bed and was almost ready to sleep when I hear Jud knocking on my door telling me to go to the living room. I go out, Juan is on the couch ready for bed.
Jud: Yo! Let's get some pizza! Comon! It's early.
Me: What? Like last night?
Jud: Yeah! Comon!
Me: Uh, Jud, we just ate. Remember? You got wings.
Jud: Yeah whatever, comon, lets get some pizza.
Me: What do you mean exactly when you say "pizza"? I do not think that word means what you think it means.
a few minutes later..
Jud: Alright fine, I'm going to go sleep on the deck.
(takes off his shirt, grabs a blanket then takes a can of "Off" bugspray and quickly sprays it all over himself, including his face)
Jud: (walking away towards deck) Aaack, this stuff tastes terrible. Blah, it says unflavored! Nasty, I can't believe it says unflavored.
Me: (picking up and reading can) Jud. It doesn't say unflavored. It says unscented.
The next day we go to the beach where I put on sunscreen like a retard and get my back a little burned. I'm not usually good with sunscreen.
